Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 736666" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>I have been reading studies on parent caregivers of adults with SMI, or a serious mental illness, and their cortisol levels. Our levels start off higher in the morning and do not decline as much throughout the day. It is physiologically harmful to us. We also deal with ambiguous grief, without end. Our sleep quality is poor. Instead of enjoying myself, I feel guilty sleeping in a bed, while my tall, schizophrenic son is squeezed into his dilapidated car. He is still probably very paranoid and petrified. I worry about what will happen when I die. I truly cannot remember being completely happy. Yes, I can sometimes have brief moments of fun, but all too soon, it comes rushing back. </p><p></p><p>I feel sad because my son's schizophrenia and attending anosognisia, lack of insight, is not his fault. I carry it in my genes. He got it from me. Yes, that is not directly my fault, but never the less, there it is. The worst part of it is not ever seeing him. I do not know how he is doing. I will probably never see him again. I ache almost constantly. Yes, I did not have much of a choice. Both, my youngest son and I, are alive. But, how is my ill son doing? I cannot find out or ever see him again. Yes, I can follow his movements on our joint account. I am grateful for this. I know that he is alive. What if activity stops. What could I do? Nothing. Just nothing. As you can see, I am in the depths of despair... There was no good answer. There is no way to fix things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 736666, member: 19245"] I have been reading studies on parent caregivers of adults with SMI, or a serious mental illness, and their cortisol levels. Our levels start off higher in the morning and do not decline as much throughout the day. It is physiologically harmful to us. We also deal with ambiguous grief, without end. Our sleep quality is poor. Instead of enjoying myself, I feel guilty sleeping in a bed, while my tall, schizophrenic son is squeezed into his dilapidated car. He is still probably very paranoid and petrified. I worry about what will happen when I die. I truly cannot remember being completely happy. Yes, I can sometimes have brief moments of fun, but all too soon, it comes rushing back. I feel sad because my son's schizophrenia and attending anosognisia, lack of insight, is not his fault. I carry it in my genes. He got it from me. Yes, that is not directly my fault, but never the less, there it is. The worst part of it is not ever seeing him. I do not know how he is doing. I will probably never see him again. I ache almost constantly. Yes, I did not have much of a choice. Both, my youngest son and I, are alive. But, how is my ill son doing? I cannot find out or ever see him again. Yes, I can follow his movements on our joint account. I am grateful for this. I know that he is alive. What if activity stops. What could I do? Nothing. Just nothing. As you can see, I am in the depths of despair... There was no good answer. There is no way to fix things. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
Top