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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 749599" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Greetings, sisters. I am so sorry that it has been so very long. I am not doing very well. In automatic pilot, of sorts.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I am traveling. I went on a teacher seminar and then to Washington, D.C. and Charleston. I live to learn and write competitive essays to get into seminars. I am truly in my element being with teachers from all over the states for traveling seminars.</p><p></p><p>Yet, I worry. My grief never truly leaves me. I greatly cherish learning and traveling, and yet my worries follow me. I am friendly, informed, open for discussions, and well-read. Yet, I sadly carry a pronounced grief, that no one knows about.</p><p></p><p>I pose the thought, that my eldest, if he were in his 'right' mind, would want me to enjoy life. At times, my life crept in and I thought of my tall son trying to sleep in his cramped car. The positive that I take away with me is that people are truly kind. I met people from all over the US. They were beautiful, caring, and kind.</p><p></p><p>On this site...I have met the same. I am just going through the motions. I worried about my 2 eldest sons on my travels, yet I was in my element...learning and experiencing.</p><p></p><p>Leafy, you NEVER take over my thread. You and Copa are the dearest friends that I have ever known. I truly mean this. You are both the strongest women that I have ever known. I ache for what you are going through. You are both my fierce warrior sisters. I am truly blessed to know you. Your strength inspires me.</p><p></p><p>Life is not fair. We are suffering, living as parents that are literally aching for our lost children, whether it is by mental illness or drugs. They do not have complete control over their choices. I am grappling with both grief and guilt. Yes, I think that I was a good parent and yet I deal daily with the 'what ifs'. Guilt wears you down. None of us wished this upon our precious children,. We would put our lives down for theirs. Yet, we feel this grief every day.</p><p></p><p>I love you and know that you are all good people, or you would not be on this site. I wish you all a respite from grief. Leafy and Copa, you both make me carry on. We all tried our best. We all wish the best for our chikdren. We are stronger than anyone knows. I am so very proud of all of you. I am so very fortunate to know you. I can face obstacles that I never could alone. Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 749599, member: 19245"] Greetings, sisters. I am so sorry that it has been so very long. I am not doing very well. In automatic pilot, of sorts. Yes, I am traveling. I went on a teacher seminar and then to Washington, D.C. and Charleston. I live to learn and write competitive essays to get into seminars. I am truly in my element being with teachers from all over the states for traveling seminars. Yet, I worry. My grief never truly leaves me. I greatly cherish learning and traveling, and yet my worries follow me. I am friendly, informed, open for discussions, and well-read. Yet, I sadly carry a pronounced grief, that no one knows about. I pose the thought, that my eldest, if he were in his 'right' mind, would want me to enjoy life. At times, my life crept in and I thought of my tall son trying to sleep in his cramped car. The positive that I take away with me is that people are truly kind. I met people from all over the US. They were beautiful, caring, and kind. On this site...I have met the same. I am just going through the motions. I worried about my 2 eldest sons on my travels, yet I was in my element...learning and experiencing. Leafy, you NEVER take over my thread. You and Copa are the dearest friends that I have ever known. I truly mean this. You are both the strongest women that I have ever known. I ache for what you are going through. You are both my fierce warrior sisters. I am truly blessed to know you. Your strength inspires me. Life is not fair. We are suffering, living as parents that are literally aching for our lost children, whether it is by mental illness or drugs. They do not have complete control over their choices. I am grappling with both grief and guilt. Yes, I think that I was a good parent and yet I deal daily with the 'what ifs'. Guilt wears you down. None of us wished this upon our precious children,. We would put our lives down for theirs. Yet, we feel this grief every day. I love you and know that you are all good people, or you would not be on this site. I wish you all a respite from grief. Leafy and Copa, you both make me carry on. We all tried our best. We all wish the best for our chikdren. We are stronger than anyone knows. I am so very proud of all of you. I am so very fortunate to know you. I can face obstacles that I never could alone. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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