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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 749987" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Copa, I understand that he wants to be 'free'. But, I feel that he wants to be free from life...responsibilities, obligations, finishing school, or working. He is pulling away from people. I don't feel that he will be better off emotionally being homeless and he rarely contacted me when he was homeless before. If he went back off his antidepressants, he would get much worse.</p><p></p><p>He has started to apply to some low stress jobs that do not require a degree. Before, when he was homeless, he had no place to shower or shave. He would never be able to get a job if he had wrinkled clothes or was disheveled. Secondly, his dog gives him much needed companionship and therapy. He gives him a reason to live. Part of the reason he wants to give his dog away is so that he can be free to kill himself without worrying about the welfare of his beloved dog. Thirdly, he sees my youngest son about once a week so that their shelter huskies can play. He needs more socialization, not less. Yes, there are caravans. He would never want to be a part of this. He wants to get away from people. It is very stressful to keep moving your car and finding a safe spot to park for the night. He doesn't like his phone. He keeps his mailbox full always to avoid people. He never answers his phone.</p><p></p><p>I am back in therapy for several months. I have a male therapist, which is new to me. At first I was apprehensive, but I feel that it is good to see a positive male role. Also, my middle son went briefly to a therapist, but he stopped going because he didn't like her and never asked for a different one.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I agree that the abuse is bad for me, but, having him homeless with little or no contact would be worse on me. They are both horrible.</p><p></p><p>I am going to try to treat him more as a room mate. He got mad today because he received a check in the mail from the research job for the FDA that he had up north that he had left without any explanation 2 years ago. I told him that he should email and briefly thank them for the check. I thought that he should apologize and explain that he left due to a family emergency; a simple way to refer to his schizophrenic brother's restraining order. He could then feel free to put that job down for a reference. I usually do not get involved. I won't again. It brought up painful and embarrassing memories. </p><p></p><p>He has been paying low rent for 2 years. He also does some yardwork. He has a lot of money from his inheritance from my parents, so he doesn't have the urgency to work. But, his money is slowly draining away. He sees this. I want him to work to get out with people and contributing in some way. Both will make him feel better. Socialization is the best thing for any mental illness. There have been numerous studies on this point. He needs to see friends and have fun. </p><p></p><p>He was out front doing yard work for the last 3 hours in the heat. We are both hurting and trying. If he got a job, i feel that he would start to feel better about himself. He worked long hours at his old job and loved the challenge.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I read your other thread. If they cancel you, then you cannot be charged for your room. It is not refundable if you cancel. Check into your rights if they cancel you. Unless, you booked your own room with the hotel, then it remains. I would still fight it. If anything, he would not want his 'good name' brought up in a negative way with the hotel for future programs. If all else fails, I also agree with using the room for a trip for you and M. It would not have to remind you of the missed program, unless you let it, but rather, your triumph over the program! A wonderful holiday with positive M would be better for you anyway. Hotels always have cheaper rates that are nonrefundable. I booked one by mistake and 15 minutes later I was not able to cancel even after explaining that it was not clearly marked that it was nonrefundable and that it was a mistake. It seems like a very poor program anyway if you have not heard back from the person in charge. But, he is responsible for his wive's comments regardless. Not a very understanding or nurturing group. Rise above them...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 749987, member: 19245"] Copa, I understand that he wants to be 'free'. But, I feel that he wants to be free from life...responsibilities, obligations, finishing school, or working. He is pulling away from people. I don't feel that he will be better off emotionally being homeless and he rarely contacted me when he was homeless before. If he went back off his antidepressants, he would get much worse. He has started to apply to some low stress jobs that do not require a degree. Before, when he was homeless, he had no place to shower or shave. He would never be able to get a job if he had wrinkled clothes or was disheveled. Secondly, his dog gives him much needed companionship and therapy. He gives him a reason to live. Part of the reason he wants to give his dog away is so that he can be free to kill himself without worrying about the welfare of his beloved dog. Thirdly, he sees my youngest son about once a week so that their shelter huskies can play. He needs more socialization, not less. Yes, there are caravans. He would never want to be a part of this. He wants to get away from people. It is very stressful to keep moving your car and finding a safe spot to park for the night. He doesn't like his phone. He keeps his mailbox full always to avoid people. He never answers his phone. I am back in therapy for several months. I have a male therapist, which is new to me. At first I was apprehensive, but I feel that it is good to see a positive male role. Also, my middle son went briefly to a therapist, but he stopped going because he didn't like her and never asked for a different one. Yes, I agree that the abuse is bad for me, but, having him homeless with little or no contact would be worse on me. They are both horrible. I am going to try to treat him more as a room mate. He got mad today because he received a check in the mail from the research job for the FDA that he had up north that he had left without any explanation 2 years ago. I told him that he should email and briefly thank them for the check. I thought that he should apologize and explain that he left due to a family emergency; a simple way to refer to his schizophrenic brother's restraining order. He could then feel free to put that job down for a reference. I usually do not get involved. I won't again. It brought up painful and embarrassing memories. He has been paying low rent for 2 years. He also does some yardwork. He has a lot of money from his inheritance from my parents, so he doesn't have the urgency to work. But, his money is slowly draining away. He sees this. I want him to work to get out with people and contributing in some way. Both will make him feel better. Socialization is the best thing for any mental illness. There have been numerous studies on this point. He needs to see friends and have fun. He was out front doing yard work for the last 3 hours in the heat. We are both hurting and trying. If he got a job, i feel that he would start to feel better about himself. He worked long hours at his old job and loved the challenge. Copa, I read your other thread. If they cancel you, then you cannot be charged for your room. It is not refundable if you cancel. Check into your rights if they cancel you. Unless, you booked your own room with the hotel, then it remains. I would still fight it. If anything, he would not want his 'good name' brought up in a negative way with the hotel for future programs. If all else fails, I also agree with using the room for a trip for you and M. It would not have to remind you of the missed program, unless you let it, but rather, your triumph over the program! A wonderful holiday with positive M would be better for you anyway. Hotels always have cheaper rates that are nonrefundable. I booked one by mistake and 15 minutes later I was not able to cancel even after explaining that it was not clearly marked that it was nonrefundable and that it was a mistake. It seems like a very poor program anyway if you have not heard back from the person in charge. But, he is responsible for his wive's comments regardless. Not a very understanding or nurturing group. Rise above them... [/QUOTE]
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