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Feeling sad today....
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 697670" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Thank you all so much for clearing up my fog.</p><p></p><p>My husband is so strong. When I got home he said that "he (son) has no say in the matter". We're not bringing the dogs etc. He doesn't know why I get so stressed over what son says. I wish I could be like him. We are in control not him. Some days I just forget that.</p><p></p><p>We had thought we'd let him come to our condo for a few days over Thanksgiving (yes it's a ways off but I'm stressing over it). I don't feel comfortable having him there anymore after OD and then the drinking and just his attitude in general. There is alcohol in our condo and there is a tiki bar by our pool within walking distance.</p><p></p><p>We won't be seeing him at Christmas either. He doesn't know it yet. It has not been talked about. </p><p></p><p>Obviously if he were actively using, neither of these decisions would bother me at all. I guess it's me just wanting to reward him. For what? Being sober and not raising hell at his treatment center? How stupid is that. I don't want to "punish" him either. It just is what it is. Limbo.</p><p></p><p>Worried Sick I never let my son face consequences either. When I did let him face them, I always felt bad.</p><p>SWOT yes one day at a time. My son sometimes called his dad a "giant toddler" jokingly but I think in reality my son is the Giant Toddler in our family!</p><p>Albie our relationship is not good right now and hope someday it will be again.</p><p>Iron he's been there since March and just treading water from what I can tell.</p><p>Mof his goal is to be anyplace but in treatment I think! But I don't think he's doing the work. I haven't talked to his therapist. He said I really don't need to...okay...</p><p>So Ready yes I think his birthday and my husband going there is doing a number on me.</p><p>Colleen the ocean is a great way to describe the rushes of despair</p><p></p><p>My husband said that he doesn't get to call the shots. That the dogs will be alive for years (not sure why that is humorous to me). My husband has a strong personality; so does our son. He is going to tell him what's what when he goes there. He is there four days but telling son he's only there two so he can control how long he spends with him. I can TOTALLY understand that. He wants to be able to have a beer (not with son around of course) and relax while he's there too. He wants to have some down time. He is in sales and it's very stressful.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to all of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 697670, member: 15032"] Thank you all so much for clearing up my fog. My husband is so strong. When I got home he said that "he (son) has no say in the matter". We're not bringing the dogs etc. He doesn't know why I get so stressed over what son says. I wish I could be like him. We are in control not him. Some days I just forget that. We had thought we'd let him come to our condo for a few days over Thanksgiving (yes it's a ways off but I'm stressing over it). I don't feel comfortable having him there anymore after OD and then the drinking and just his attitude in general. There is alcohol in our condo and there is a tiki bar by our pool within walking distance. We won't be seeing him at Christmas either. He doesn't know it yet. It has not been talked about. Obviously if he were actively using, neither of these decisions would bother me at all. I guess it's me just wanting to reward him. For what? Being sober and not raising hell at his treatment center? How stupid is that. I don't want to "punish" him either. It just is what it is. Limbo. Worried Sick I never let my son face consequences either. When I did let him face them, I always felt bad. SWOT yes one day at a time. My son sometimes called his dad a "giant toddler" jokingly but I think in reality my son is the Giant Toddler in our family! Albie our relationship is not good right now and hope someday it will be again. Iron he's been there since March and just treading water from what I can tell. Mof his goal is to be anyplace but in treatment I think! But I don't think he's doing the work. I haven't talked to his therapist. He said I really don't need to...okay... So Ready yes I think his birthday and my husband going there is doing a number on me. Colleen the ocean is a great way to describe the rushes of despair My husband said that he doesn't get to call the shots. That the dogs will be alive for years (not sure why that is humorous to me). My husband has a strong personality; so does our son. He is going to tell him what's what when he goes there. He is there four days but telling son he's only there two so he can control how long he spends with him. I can TOTALLY understand that. He wants to be able to have a beer (not with son around of course) and relax while he's there too. He wants to have some down time. He is in sales and it's very stressful. Hugs to all of you. [/QUOTE]
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