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Feeling so resentful
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 669779" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p> </p><p>Right there with you.</p><p> </p><p>I think it's really more basic. You want to be proud of him. You want to look at him and feel happiness and love and satisfaction of a job well done...to feel like you raised him well - that he turned out well.</p><p> </p><p>I never feel that.</p><p> </p><p>I WANT IT! With every fiber of my being, I want it. I had a vision of how my family would be. I had imagined my son going to school and making friends and getting a job and being a typical kid. I didn't get that and I feel cheated.</p><p> </p><p>I didn't get to go to the science fair. I didn't get to have a bunch of boys hanging around calling me "mom". I didn't get to rent him a tux for prom. I didn't get to see him graduate (he wouldn't go to the ceremony). I got to take him to college and settle him in...but only because I did all the work... and then he failed.</p><p> </p><p>I have a brother who's son is just a year older than mine. He's so proud of him. My cousin who's kids are just younger are always putting their accomplishments on Facebook. I have one cousin who's son is the same age as mine...he's had issues...but every once in a while I see her post they went to a ballgame or watched a movie or whatever...and he and she look so happy together. I don't get any of that and it's NOT FAIR!</p><p> </p><p>Today he has a job interview. I should be happy. I'm sitting here with a sense of dread...wondering if he'll call in a panic because his ride fell through. I don't even get to enjoy positive news.</p><p> </p><p>None of it is fair SuZir. Not any of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 669779, member: 17309"] :hugs: Right there with you. I think it's really more basic. You want to be proud of him. You want to look at him and feel happiness and love and satisfaction of a job well done...to feel like you raised him well - that he turned out well. I never feel that. I WANT IT! With every fiber of my being, I want it. I had a vision of how my family would be. I had imagined my son going to school and making friends and getting a job and being a typical kid. I didn't get that and I feel cheated. I didn't get to go to the science fair. I didn't get to have a bunch of boys hanging around calling me "mom". I didn't get to rent him a tux for prom. I didn't get to see him graduate (he wouldn't go to the ceremony). I got to take him to college and settle him in...but only because I did all the work... and then he failed. I have a brother who's son is just a year older than mine. He's so proud of him. My cousin who's kids are just younger are always putting their accomplishments on Facebook. I have one cousin who's son is the same age as mine...he's had issues...but every once in a while I see her post they went to a ballgame or watched a movie or whatever...and he and she look so happy together. I don't get any of that and it's NOT FAIR! Today he has a job interview. I should be happy. I'm sitting here with a sense of dread...wondering if he'll call in a panic because his ride fell through. I don't even get to enjoy positive news. None of it is fair SuZir. Not any of it. [/QUOTE]
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