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Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 728795" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>RE, I can't thank you enough. Although I have long quit trying to analyze it, you filled in the blanks perfectly. The fact is my entire family unit, minus my brother, were all not just mean but bizarre. Some were were obviously strange like both of my parents. My grandfather was nice but odd. My grandmother loved me to death but had severe anxiety. My uncle had anxiety, an eating disorder which was obvious just looking at him and had traits of narcicism. My sister had depression, an eating disorder, attachment issues and totally overreacted off the wall with quirks like calling the cops on me all the time because of simple emails, even after I move out of state. Dare I say borderline traits? I think Mother was borderline. She certainly lived in a world of black and white and emotional dysregulation.</p><p></p><p>Re, the difference between you and I was that I had mental health issues as well and, unlike the rest of my mentally ill family, I knew and wanted to get better but could clearly see that my family members were also not right. Most were quite sick. My getting help and bringing this up to the family about our dysfunction especially angered my mother who did not have a clue that she was mentally ill. Nobody else did either. So as the only one who told he whole truth in therapy and got help, I was the bad guy. Nobody else would admit or knew he/she was sick. My sister is 57 and she still doesn't know. She thinks she is healthy although she is addicTed to a very abusive man and she abuses him right back and lies to another nice man who likes her. The nice man does not know about the one she is addicted to. But she thinks this is healthy and she is normal. </p><p></p><p>Anosognosia. What a powerful word. And my mother!!!! OMG! Is it possible that the sick can have anosognosia about each other too? It's not just our Dynamics that were odd. The members were so odd. My sister can wear a normal mask. It is fake. She keeps her real self to herself. She is not all bad but she is sick. She hides it and I bet nobody but me knows how many times she called the cops on me for "harassment" for sending her an unwanted email. She couldn't just delete it. What a drama queen and control freak. Sick.</p><p></p><p> I feel like I escaped to have a good life. I will never know but I doubt my sister will ever have my wonderful life. She is too sick to do what is best for her and she may use this nice man and marry him for security because she can not be alone. But if she does she will cheat with the abusive man. She will never get rid of him. These two sick people need each other but he will never marry her.</p><p></p><p>Anosignosia. That's it for my family of origin! Thanks for filling in the blank. I feel even more peaceful now <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 728795, member: 1550"] RE, I can't thank you enough. Although I have long quit trying to analyze it, you filled in the blanks perfectly. The fact is my entire family unit, minus my brother, were all not just mean but bizarre. Some were were obviously strange like both of my parents. My grandfather was nice but odd. My grandmother loved me to death but had severe anxiety. My uncle had anxiety, an eating disorder which was obvious just looking at him and had traits of narcicism. My sister had depression, an eating disorder, attachment issues and totally overreacted off the wall with quirks like calling the cops on me all the time because of simple emails, even after I move out of state. Dare I say borderline traits? I think Mother was borderline. She certainly lived in a world of black and white and emotional dysregulation. Re, the difference between you and I was that I had mental health issues as well and, unlike the rest of my mentally ill family, I knew and wanted to get better but could clearly see that my family members were also not right. Most were quite sick. My getting help and bringing this up to the family about our dysfunction especially angered my mother who did not have a clue that she was mentally ill. Nobody else did either. So as the only one who told he whole truth in therapy and got help, I was the bad guy. Nobody else would admit or knew he/she was sick. My sister is 57 and she still doesn't know. She thinks she is healthy although she is addicTed to a very abusive man and she abuses him right back and lies to another nice man who likes her. The nice man does not know about the one she is addicted to. But she thinks this is healthy and she is normal. Anosognosia. What a powerful word. And my mother!!!! OMG! Is it possible that the sick can have anosognosia about each other too? It's not just our Dynamics that were odd. The members were so odd. My sister can wear a normal mask. It is fake. She keeps her real self to herself. She is not all bad but she is sick. She hides it and I bet nobody but me knows how many times she called the cops on me for "harassment" for sending her an unwanted email. She couldn't just delete it. What a drama queen and control freak. Sick. I feel like I escaped to have a good life. I will never know but I doubt my sister will ever have my wonderful life. She is too sick to do what is best for her and she may use this nice man and marry him for security because she can not be alone. But if she does she will cheat with the abusive man. She will never get rid of him. These two sick people need each other but he will never marry her. Anosignosia. That's it for my family of origin! Thanks for filling in the blank. I feel even more peaceful now :) [/QUOTE]
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