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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 748860" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Copa I always appreciate your opinion. I think to some extent you are right....but what bothers me is she is making it about her brother. She will go if he goes....and yet they dont have a relationship she doesnt really want to be around him. To me it is confusing issues.... I actually think she knows she should go sometimes and for that reason has gone in the past.... but since we arent making him go (In reality I cant make either of them go) she wont go either. Her reasoning is it isn’t fair.... well a lot of things arent fair. We dont take our son travelling with us and we do take her. I am backing off for now....Any further conversation should involve my husband because it is his parents and family we are talking about. </p><p></p><p>I think part of what I am feeling is a bind parents in our situation find ourselves in. She resents that he gets away with stuff and that we even have a relationship with him. Because of that, and because I know she doesnt want to hear it, I dont share with her all of my agnst and worry and what he puts us through. She knows plenty. But I partly resent that she adds the stress of my worrying about her reaction to what is already a very stressful situation for me. Bottom line she doesnt really understand whats its like to be a mother in this situation... and probably wont understand my feelings until she is a mother herself.And as much as I would like her to understand I would wish these kind of problems on her or heaven forbid her children.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 748860, member: 15801"] Copa I always appreciate your opinion. I think to some extent you are right....but what bothers me is she is making it about her brother. She will go if he goes....and yet they dont have a relationship she doesnt really want to be around him. To me it is confusing issues.... I actually think she knows she should go sometimes and for that reason has gone in the past.... but since we arent making him go (In reality I cant make either of them go) she wont go either. Her reasoning is it isn’t fair.... well a lot of things arent fair. We dont take our son travelling with us and we do take her. I am backing off for now....Any further conversation should involve my husband because it is his parents and family we are talking about. I think part of what I am feeling is a bind parents in our situation find ourselves in. She resents that he gets away with stuff and that we even have a relationship with him. Because of that, and because I know she doesnt want to hear it, I dont share with her all of my agnst and worry and what he puts us through. She knows plenty. But I partly resent that she adds the stress of my worrying about her reaction to what is already a very stressful situation for me. Bottom line she doesnt really understand whats its like to be a mother in this situation... and probably wont understand my feelings until she is a mother herself.And as much as I would like her to understand I would wish these kind of problems on her or heaven forbid her children. TL [/QUOTE]
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