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Substance Abuse
Feels so "unmom"
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 748352" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Hi</p><p></p><p>I remember feeling that way too when our son was in Florida to go to sober living and then college (as we hoped) but he instead did the "Florida Shuffle" as some call it. I did not want to hear any bad news so when he'd call I'd freeze. Eventually when I realized he was not staying sober I cut ties emotionally as best I could and my husband/his father took over. I just could not bear the pain any longer.</p><p></p><p>So I do get it. I think it's a defense mechanism that we use and I think it's just fine to use it.</p><p></p><p>Your son has to get to a place where he wants to change his life for good. Only HE can get there. Mother's can beg and plead but as we all know, until they are ready it falls on deaf ears.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime you need to do what YOU need to do to be okay and keep your sanity. Do not feel guilty. It is okay.</p><p></p><p>My son has been back with us since November after completing a 13 month faith based program (God answered my prayers actually). We've had some bumps but for the most part he is doing well and said and is proving that he wants to move forward in his life. He does not hold anything against me that I had to do for ME. We don't talk about it either. The mother/son love is there like it always was. </p><p></p><p>Keep praying if you are a believer. </p><p></p><p>Hugs because this is tough!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 748352, member: 15032"] Hi I remember feeling that way too when our son was in Florida to go to sober living and then college (as we hoped) but he instead did the "Florida Shuffle" as some call it. I did not want to hear any bad news so when he'd call I'd freeze. Eventually when I realized he was not staying sober I cut ties emotionally as best I could and my husband/his father took over. I just could not bear the pain any longer. So I do get it. I think it's a defense mechanism that we use and I think it's just fine to use it. Your son has to get to a place where he wants to change his life for good. Only HE can get there. Mother's can beg and plead but as we all know, until they are ready it falls on deaf ears. In the meantime you need to do what YOU need to do to be okay and keep your sanity. Do not feel guilty. It is okay. My son has been back with us since November after completing a 13 month faith based program (God answered my prayers actually). We've had some bumps but for the most part he is doing well and said and is proving that he wants to move forward in his life. He does not hold anything against me that I had to do for ME. We don't talk about it either. The mother/son love is there like it always was. Keep praying if you are a believer. Hugs because this is tough! [/QUOTE]
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