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Substance Abuse
Feels so wrong
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749801" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Trying. It is wrong. What he is doing.</p><p></p><p>But what can you do? Plenty. You can do as you are doing and shift the focus of your life to you, and to you and your husband, and away from him.</p><p></p><p>Your son has been rude and manipulative. He has shown no caring respect for the two of you in the time you have posted on this forum. He has shown no sense of responsibility for his family.</p><p></p><p>I am not speaking here of the cessation of love. I am speaking about turning away from somebody who does not appreciate you as people or as parents, or cannot show that appreciation. To keep reaching out to him is like touching a hot stove over and over again and expecting a different result.</p><p></p><p>Of course there is pain. Of course there is longing. Of course there is anger. Each of these is human. You're entitled. But there is a reality here. He is really toxic for you at this stage of his life.</p><p></p><p>Will he change? Who knows? This may be the kind of person that he will choose to be. However many of our kids do wise up. But the thing is something you already know. You have no control.</p><p></p><p>I think you are doing everything right. Each time you feel yourself weakening you post. Smart. Why not consider posting on other threads? There are other mothers here who are dealing with almost exactly the same thing. For me, posting on other threads helps. I can pretend I am strong, and then abracadabra, I become strong.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749801, member: 18958"] Hi Trying. It is wrong. What he is doing. But what can you do? Plenty. You can do as you are doing and shift the focus of your life to you, and to you and your husband, and away from him. Your son has been rude and manipulative. He has shown no caring respect for the two of you in the time you have posted on this forum. He has shown no sense of responsibility for his family. I am not speaking here of the cessation of love. I am speaking about turning away from somebody who does not appreciate you as people or as parents, or cannot show that appreciation. To keep reaching out to him is like touching a hot stove over and over again and expecting a different result. Of course there is pain. Of course there is longing. Of course there is anger. Each of these is human. You're entitled. But there is a reality here. He is really toxic for you at this stage of his life. Will he change? Who knows? This may be the kind of person that he will choose to be. However many of our kids do wise up. But the thing is something you already know. You have no control. I think you are doing everything right. Each time you feel yourself weakening you post. Smart. Why not consider posting on other threads? There are other mothers here who are dealing with almost exactly the same thing. For me, posting on other threads helps. I can pretend I am strong, and then abracadabra, I become strong. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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