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<blockquote data-quote="AchyBreakyHeart" data-source="post: 766095" data-attributes="member: 33665">You are so strong Copa. I bet last week was tough for you. I’m dreading the holidays. Good for you for setting those boundaries for yourself and sticking through them. Why are they so manipulative?We suggested he go back to his hometown but he refuses. We even offered to drive him. He has destroyed almost every relationship he’s had so going back wouldn’t be a great idea because there’s no connections there. We also live where it isn’t too cold. The nights get down to the low 40s and in the winter it can hit freezing but no snow. I’m learning to detach. It’s hard work. Having a TRO helps. We have set boundaries.One thing that pulls me out of guilt is that he has choices. He just doesn’t want to put in the work. We’ve offered help but he wants things on his terms so we are at an impasse. Where I get stuck in guilt is that if he decides he wants to get clean and let us help him, how will he let us know? When we go to court for the permanent restraining order, I plan on asking the judge for just a stay away order. That way, he will be able to call or email in an emergency. I’m just praying I don’t get bombarded with calls.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="AchyBreakyHeart, post: 766095, member: 33665"] You are so strong Copa. I bet last week was tough for you. I’m dreading the holidays. Good for you for setting those boundaries for yourself and sticking through them. Why are they so manipulative? We suggested he go back to his hometown but he refuses. We even offered to drive him. He has destroyed almost every relationship he’s had so going back wouldn’t be a great idea because there’s no connections there. We also live where it isn’t too cold. The nights get down to the low 40s and in the winter it can hit freezing but no snow. I’m learning to detach. It’s hard work. Having a TRO helps. We have set boundaries. One thing that pulls me out of guilt is that he has choices. He just doesn’t want to put in the work. We’ve offered help but he wants things on his terms so we are at an impasse. Where I get stuck in guilt is that if he decides he wants to get clean and let us help him, how will he let us know? When we go to court for the permanent restraining order, I plan on asking the judge for just a stay away order. That way, he will be able to call or email in an emergency. I’m just praying I don’t get bombarded with calls. [/QUOTE]

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