Welcome to our little corner of the world. I'm so glad you found us here. Within these pages you find wisdom, honesty, hope and sometimes a little humor.
Dealing with an adult difficult child is something none of us ever would have imagined we would be doing.
When our children are little we project out what their future will be like. We never imagine them in jail, addicted to drugs or alcohol, having mental illness, being homeless, etc........
When the reality slaps us in the face we stand there in shock. Yes, the questions of how and why will cross our mind but I can tell you with certainty that there is no answer that will appease our torment. One can drive themselves crazy trying to figure out the how and why. Even if we could magically have an answer it would change nothing.
Accepting "it is what it is", not an easy thing to do but in doing so you will find relief.
We as parents are powerless over the choices our children make.
Letting go is not an easy thing to do. While our children are still very much alive we go through a grieving process. We grieve for the sweet little boy/girl that once was. We grieve for the hope and dreams we had for them. We grieve for the relationship we long to have with them.
We start to see them for who they are. They are no longer our sweet little boy/girl, they are a grown adult. When the image of your son as a little boy comes into your mind remind yourself of who he really is now. I did this with my own son. Seeing him as a grown man with a full beard. Seeing him as a grown man making his own life choices. Really seeing him for who he has become.
Owning the reality of it helped me to let him go and letting him go allowed me to take my life back.
I was once right where you are. I didn't think I would ever be able to be happy again. I can tell you that it is possible to have joy and happiness in your life.
I have only the one son. You are blessed to have other children who you can have a wonderful relationship with. It's okay to be happy. Just because our difficult adult children have chosen to live their lives in chaos does not mean that we have to be pulled down the rabbit hole with them.
Know that you are not alone in this. There is an army of warrior parents here that will support you.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
((HUGS))..................
