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Substance Abuse
Finally! People Who Understand!
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 91154" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>DDD gave you excellent advice!Whatever you do or don't do it is so important to be on the same page with your spouse so you can support each other and stand united.</p><p></p><p>I too have 3 kids and the middle one was the difficult child. She was a challenging child and all h broke lose when she became a teen. In 9th grade she pretty much just quit going to her classes--she would get on the bus in the morning, go to school, then cut school. She was seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist at the time and had various diagnoses--depression, possibly bi-polar, borderline personality disorder traits, adhd. Anyway, what eventually happened was we sent her away just before her 16th birthday to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah. She did very well there but relapsed upon returning home. She was worse than ever and ended up in short-term rehab for alcohol and after that she ended up in longterm rehab where she got her GED. Those years from 13-18 were horrible but she is doing much better now. She is 19 and lives with her boyfriend and works and seems pretty "normal." Actually, in some ways, she seems more mature than other girls her age because she did all the rebelling at such a young age and it doesn't hold the allure for her that it used to.</p><p></p><p>What we did during those years when she was a minor was to report her missing to the police each time she failed to come home. We also had her on a PINS (person in need of supervision) through the family court in our state. In this way we protected ourselves from charges of neglect and also allowed the "authorities" to impose consequences since the ones we imposed had no effect whatsoever. I felt very frustrated when she was 17 and running wild and yet we were supposed to somehow know where she was at all times. I just wanted to give up--let her go live on the streets--and I would have but our laws wouldn't allow us to let her go so we obeyed the laws. I felt the only way she would have a chance to get better was to be allowed to go fall on her face but our state wouldn't allow it.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, glad you found us--we certainly do understand! </p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 91154, member: 3450"] DDD gave you excellent advice!Whatever you do or don't do it is so important to be on the same page with your spouse so you can support each other and stand united. I too have 3 kids and the middle one was the difficult child. She was a challenging child and all h broke lose when she became a teen. In 9th grade she pretty much just quit going to her classes--she would get on the bus in the morning, go to school, then cut school. She was seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist at the time and had various diagnoses--depression, possibly bi-polar, borderline personality disorder traits, adhd. Anyway, what eventually happened was we sent her away just before her 16th birthday to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah. She did very well there but relapsed upon returning home. She was worse than ever and ended up in short-term rehab for alcohol and after that she ended up in longterm rehab where she got her GED. Those years from 13-18 were horrible but she is doing much better now. She is 19 and lives with her boyfriend and works and seems pretty "normal." Actually, in some ways, she seems more mature than other girls her age because she did all the rebelling at such a young age and it doesn't hold the allure for her that it used to. What we did during those years when she was a minor was to report her missing to the police each time she failed to come home. We also had her on a PINS (person in need of supervision) through the family court in our state. In this way we protected ourselves from charges of neglect and also allowed the "authorities" to impose consequences since the ones we imposed had no effect whatsoever. I felt very frustrated when she was 17 and running wild and yet we were supposed to somehow know where she was at all times. I just wanted to give up--let her go live on the streets--and I would have but our laws wouldn't allow us to let her go so we obeyed the laws. I felt the only way she would have a chance to get better was to be allowed to go fall on her face but our state wouldn't allow it. Good luck, glad you found us--we certainly do understand! Jane [/QUOTE]
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