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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 759859" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I see your point. </p><p>it’s not totally accepted. </p><p>But this could at least be partially because people are starting to hear of so many problems/heartaches. </p><p>Many years ago , it was noted a disproportionate amount of parents here on this site had adopted kids.</p><p>I’m not sure I personally know a single family in my area with an adopted child that had a normal life. All were difficult, some very difficult. A nice handful of divorces too. </p><p>we use to joke that we now know the answer to the age ol question “is it nature or nurture?” 90 plus percent of the time it seems to be nature...genetics. </p><p>my friend and I both adopted due to health problems. Her adopted daughter , after some research...was discovered to have the exact same mental health problems as the birthmom manifesting in the same ways. A lifetime of love, intellectual stimulation (dad was a PhD), and many positives...seem to be irrelevant. Her husband got up and walked out one day. </p><p>Our situation is almost the same. But my husband(thank goodness...I’m grateful as he is wonderful) is doing ok and is extraordinarily helpful. A lifetime of heartache no matter how much time, effort, care, money, love, praying etc. It is what it is. </p><p>My daughter’s birthmom is a carbon copy of her physically and very much mentally as well. Fortunately, our daughter takes her medications . That’s a nice plus.</p><p> Especially with my health problems, it’s been very tough. It is what it is. But I don’t recommend it. Sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 759859, member: 4152"] I see your point. it’s not totally accepted. But this could at least be partially because people are starting to hear of so many problems/heartaches. Many years ago , it was noted a disproportionate amount of parents here on this site had adopted kids. I’m not sure I personally know a single family in my area with an adopted child that had a normal life. All were difficult, some very difficult. A nice handful of divorces too. we use to joke that we now know the answer to the age ol question “is it nature or nurture?” 90 plus percent of the time it seems to be nature...genetics. my friend and I both adopted due to health problems. Her adopted daughter , after some research...was discovered to have the exact same mental health problems as the birthmom manifesting in the same ways. A lifetime of love, intellectual stimulation (dad was a PhD), and many positives...seem to be irrelevant. Her husband got up and walked out one day. Our situation is almost the same. But my husband(thank goodness...I’m grateful as he is wonderful) is doing ok and is extraordinarily helpful. A lifetime of heartache no matter how much time, effort, care, money, love, praying etc. It is what it is. My daughter’s birthmom is a carbon copy of her physically and very much mentally as well. Fortunately, our daughter takes her medications . That’s a nice plus. Especially with my health problems, it’s been very tough. It is what it is. But I don’t recommend it. Sad. [/QUOTE]
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