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General Parenting
Finding *the right* behavioral therapist
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 582673" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi bluetik and welcome. My experience was that the younger my kid, the more likely the therapist/psychiatrist/school felt it was "parenting" issues or family dynamics or blah blah blah. I had 1 therapist cite *my* depression as the cause of difficult child's behaviors - typical chicken or egg question, though by that point I think my usual baseline depression was made a gazillion times worse due to the stress of dealing with- difficult child's behaviors.</p><p></p><p>I've only ever found trial and error to be effective. There were some tdocs I dealt with who I was willing to jump through the parenting training hoops for because I got the feeling that they might (sooner rather than later) be able to clue in that there was more going on than me being a crappy parent. Other tdocs, I knew from the start they weren't going to get it. By the time my kid was 8, if someone mentioned a reward chart I was out the door. been there done that *way* too much. When my difficult child was 12, I interviewed a therapist for him since he was going to be coming home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #1 - based on the interview, I thought she'd be a good fit. Could not have been more wrong - once she got involved with- difficult child and the family, it became very apparent she was a complete looney tune, really extremely dangerous in my humble opinion. on the other hand, one of the very best was an Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who was part of a very short-lived program in IL that provided intensive in-home services to kids who had been hospitalized - he was 26, single, not a parent, and my initial thought was that there wasn't a chance in Hades he'd have a clue. He actually was tremendously helpful. </p><p></p><p>If you haven't had your son evaluated by a psychiatrist/neuropsychologist, that might be the best place to start. If you've got an idea of what you're dealing with then you might be able to get a referral to a therapist who is more tuned in. I have to tell you, when our son was first admitted and evaluated by a psychiatrist, that *completely* changed the game. It was no longer "parenting issues" or "adjustment reaction to family dynamics" - having a psychiatric diagnosis (which changed umpteen times over the years, but still there was always a psychiatric diagnosis) made a huge difference in who we were referred to for counseling and their approaches. Professionals are far more likely to listen to each other about potential issues than they will the parent. </p><p></p><p>I feel your frustration - wish I had an easy answer for you. Again, welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 582673, member: 8"] Hi bluetik and welcome. My experience was that the younger my kid, the more likely the therapist/psychiatrist/school felt it was "parenting" issues or family dynamics or blah blah blah. I had 1 therapist cite *my* depression as the cause of difficult child's behaviors - typical chicken or egg question, though by that point I think my usual baseline depression was made a gazillion times worse due to the stress of dealing with- difficult child's behaviors. I've only ever found trial and error to be effective. There were some tdocs I dealt with who I was willing to jump through the parenting training hoops for because I got the feeling that they might (sooner rather than later) be able to clue in that there was more going on than me being a crappy parent. Other tdocs, I knew from the start they weren't going to get it. By the time my kid was 8, if someone mentioned a reward chart I was out the door. been there done that *way* too much. When my difficult child was 12, I interviewed a therapist for him since he was going to be coming home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #1 - based on the interview, I thought she'd be a good fit. Could not have been more wrong - once she got involved with- difficult child and the family, it became very apparent she was a complete looney tune, really extremely dangerous in my humble opinion. on the other hand, one of the very best was an Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who was part of a very short-lived program in IL that provided intensive in-home services to kids who had been hospitalized - he was 26, single, not a parent, and my initial thought was that there wasn't a chance in Hades he'd have a clue. He actually was tremendously helpful. If you haven't had your son evaluated by a psychiatrist/neuropsychologist, that might be the best place to start. If you've got an idea of what you're dealing with then you might be able to get a referral to a therapist who is more tuned in. I have to tell you, when our son was first admitted and evaluated by a psychiatrist, that *completely* changed the game. It was no longer "parenting issues" or "adjustment reaction to family dynamics" - having a psychiatric diagnosis (which changed umpteen times over the years, but still there was always a psychiatric diagnosis) made a huge difference in who we were referred to for counseling and their approaches. Professionals are far more likely to listen to each other about potential issues than they will the parent. I feel your frustration - wish I had an easy answer for you. Again, welcome. [/QUOTE]
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