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First new thread in a while....hoping for support.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 703418" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Happy Thanksgiving, </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Is this really too much to ask, to hope for, as we KNOW, we are CERTAIN, that people are not meant to do nothing, sit and take drugs, drink, play video games, whatever they do to dull their senses, pass the time, and the months and years go by? <u><strong>We know this</strong></u>. But when a person seems not to care, what do we do? We can no more "make" them be productive than we can move the earth. I believe all we can do is step aside. Stand back. Let it go and let it be. Things will either stay the same, get worse or get better. Either way, we have removed ourselves, and it cannot be our fight. It is their fight or no fight at all, because people, grown people, have a right to choose. And then to live with their own choices. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I could have written every word of this. My thoughts and feelings exactly. Oh, how humbling and life-changing to get to this very point that knowing this...we stand aside. It is profound, the work, the journey, to get to this point. It is both the greatest and the most wrenching realizations I have ever had in my life, to realize I can DO NOTHING. Nothing. I am completely powerless. If they are to change, it will have nothing to do with me. I love the greystone analogy. Becoming nothing in their lives, for a time, as immobile as a stone, that, to me, is the ultimate setting-aside of ourselves, in the service of one we love so very much. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>When we start valuing ourselves as much, and then just a tad more, than we do our precious children. 51%/49%. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I wish everyone could see the damage we see being done to real live human beings by marijuana. I detest it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. And thank goodness it was unbearable. Or you could not have done what you did to find some peace that you so richly deserve. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is almost unbearable to see these things, the shower you describe, my son's heavy soaking-wet blanket that I loaded into my trunk to go wash and bring back to him after he slept on a bench all night in the rain. I will never forget, and it comes rushing back, the sheer agony of washing that blanket, drying it, and taking it back to him so he could sleep on a bench outside, 1 mile from my 3000 square foot house that was empty except for me. Addiction is the cruelest of masters. It bends them, and it bends us, until we are completely broken. And then we can move aside, step aside, stand back, stand down, become a greystone, become nothing in their lives...so they can have a chance to find their own lives. I came to see it this way. Over years and years and failure after failure. </p><p></p><p>I love all of you, and I hope on this Thanksgiving Day that you have joy, peace, serenity and hope for the future. There is always hope. Every situation is different. There is no right or wrong here. Regardless we are all here together.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 703418, member: 17542"] Happy Thanksgiving, Is this really too much to ask, to hope for, as we KNOW, we are CERTAIN, that people are not meant to do nothing, sit and take drugs, drink, play video games, whatever they do to dull their senses, pass the time, and the months and years go by? [U][B]We know this[/B][/U]. But when a person seems not to care, what do we do? We can no more "make" them be productive than we can move the earth. I believe all we can do is step aside. Stand back. Let it go and let it be. Things will either stay the same, get worse or get better. Either way, we have removed ourselves, and it cannot be our fight. It is their fight or no fight at all, because people, grown people, have a right to choose. And then to live with their own choices. I could have written every word of this. My thoughts and feelings exactly. Oh, how humbling and life-changing to get to this very point that knowing this...we stand aside. It is profound, the work, the journey, to get to this point. It is both the greatest and the most wrenching realizations I have ever had in my life, to realize I can DO NOTHING. Nothing. I am completely powerless. If they are to change, it will have nothing to do with me. I love the greystone analogy. Becoming nothing in their lives, for a time, as immobile as a stone, that, to me, is the ultimate setting-aside of ourselves, in the service of one we love so very much. When we start valuing ourselves as much, and then just a tad more, than we do our precious children. 51%/49%. I wish everyone could see the damage we see being done to real live human beings by marijuana. I detest it. Yes. And thank goodness it was unbearable. Or you could not have done what you did to find some peace that you so richly deserve. It is almost unbearable to see these things, the shower you describe, my son's heavy soaking-wet blanket that I loaded into my trunk to go wash and bring back to him after he slept on a bench all night in the rain. I will never forget, and it comes rushing back, the sheer agony of washing that blanket, drying it, and taking it back to him so he could sleep on a bench outside, 1 mile from my 3000 square foot house that was empty except for me. Addiction is the cruelest of masters. It bends them, and it bends us, until we are completely broken. And then we can move aside, step aside, stand back, stand down, become a greystone, become nothing in their lives...so they can have a chance to find their own lives. I came to see it this way. Over years and years and failure after failure. I love all of you, and I hope on this Thanksgiving Day that you have joy, peace, serenity and hope for the future. There is always hope. Every situation is different. There is no right or wrong here. Regardless we are all here together. [/QUOTE]
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