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First "not mean" contact from Difficult Child in several years
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758929" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Seeking</p><p></p><p>What I would counsel you NOT to do is to make reference to his misbehavior (s). It will not have a good effect. Oh. Do I understand why you would mention this. (I have been a broken record.) You see, on some level we believe that if we tell them (yet again) what is wrong and what they did, that they will change. I have found this to be a fantasy on my part.</p><p></p><p>First of all, your son knows quite well what he has done. (That's one reason he projects it onto you.) Second, that you tell him is to descend to his level and to invite tit for tat with him. By his tone in the note you know already he is not open to taking moral inventory. On the contrary he is wanting you to take moral inventory!</p><p></p><p>Nor do you have to defend yourselves to him. That's the set up of the "loaded question." He has sought to put you on defense. And it has worked! Wrong!</p><p></p><p>You've done nothing at all wrong. And his wrongs are his business to fix or not as he chooses in his life. The only reason they are your concern, is because you must (and do) protect yourselves from him. That's all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758929, member: 18958"] Dear Seeking What I would counsel you NOT to do is to make reference to his misbehavior (s). It will not have a good effect. Oh. Do I understand why you would mention this. (I have been a broken record.) You see, on some level we believe that if we tell them (yet again) what is wrong and what they did, that they will change. I have found this to be a fantasy on my part. First of all, your son knows quite well what he has done. (That's one reason he projects it onto you.) Second, that you tell him is to descend to his level and to invite tit for tat with him. By his tone in the note you know already he is not open to taking moral inventory. On the contrary he is wanting you to take moral inventory! Nor do you have to defend yourselves to him. That's the set up of the "loaded question." He has sought to put you on defense. And it has worked! Wrong! You've done nothing at all wrong. And his wrongs are his business to fix or not as he chooses in his life. The only reason they are your concern, is because you must (and do) protect yourselves from him. That's all. [/QUOTE]
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First "not mean" contact from Difficult Child in several years
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