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Parent Emeritus
First "not mean" contact from Difficult Child in several years
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 758935" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>SS</p><p>Interesting that your question and responses from everyone help me. That's why this site is so wonderful.</p><p></p><p>So my two cents about this is that the other's are right. It is a loaded question. A bait, if you will, so he can blast you again for some injustice done to him (I'm really speaking for myself) no matter what your reply. Otherwise, a text after a long lapse in time that genuinely was meant to restore, improve or mend your relationship with him would not have been open-ended. It would have said something like..."I hope you're doing well and I've realized I'm broken in a lot of ways and would like to talk with you when your ready to see how we can begin the process of a healthy relationship".</p><p></p><p>He has taken no position of responsibility and that is a sure sign that not a lot has changed.</p><p></p><p>I recently experienced this with my son too. We didn't speak for about 8 months then I gingerly began communicating with him again and lo and behold 5 months down the line after that, I received the old "sucker-punch" that came with all the anger, resentment and bitterness he still holds towards me and his father for all the injustices that have happened throughout his entire life. Wowsa...he still takes no responsibility for anything. It just breaks your heart all over again.</p><p></p><p>I've learned to get back up a lot quicker than I used to and have a lot more strength that I gained during the time we were apart. It goes right back to what we all know that WE have to be the change in the situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 758935, member: 23405"] SS Interesting that your question and responses from everyone help me. That's why this site is so wonderful. So my two cents about this is that the other's are right. It is a loaded question. A bait, if you will, so he can blast you again for some injustice done to him (I'm really speaking for myself) no matter what your reply. Otherwise, a text after a long lapse in time that genuinely was meant to restore, improve or mend your relationship with him would not have been open-ended. It would have said something like..."I hope you're doing well and I've realized I'm broken in a lot of ways and would like to talk with you when your ready to see how we can begin the process of a healthy relationship". He has taken no position of responsibility and that is a sure sign that not a lot has changed. I recently experienced this with my son too. We didn't speak for about 8 months then I gingerly began communicating with him again and lo and behold 5 months down the line after that, I received the old "sucker-punch" that came with all the anger, resentment and bitterness he still holds towards me and his father for all the injustices that have happened throughout his entire life. Wowsa...he still takes no responsibility for anything. It just breaks your heart all over again. I've learned to get back up a lot quicker than I used to and have a lot more strength that I gained during the time we were apart. It goes right back to what we all know that WE have to be the change in the situation. [/QUOTE]
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First "not mean" contact from Difficult Child in several years
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