Welcome to the board. 
Nineteen is not a really hot age for males, especially when they have not yet found a direction for their life to keep them occupied and somewhat focus, and not having that "direction" yet is not so uncommon. I understand the desire to force him to do something instead of sit around all day, because I couldn't handle the just hanging out trying to be a perpetual teen thing either. But I don't think I'd have forced the college issue, whether community or 4 yr. I would have, though, insisted he found a job at the very least. Forcing college when the child isn't ready can turn into an expensive disaster. And there are many kids who just aren't interested in college.
I think if it were me, I'd sit him down to talk and see if he's given any thought to where he'd like to be in 3 yrs, 5 yrs from now. What are his interests as far as careers? What are constructive ways to make the one he chooses happen for himself? (this does not always mean college, trade schools train for very good careers with a huge variety and many of these careers are in high demand simply because everyone has it in their head now they have to go to college) I'd in no uncertain terms made him know that he is expected to take steps toward long term goals.
Childhood in my home ends on the 18th birthday, from that moment on you're considered and treated like an adult. (mine were prepared for this to happen) There is no lounging around all day being the perpetual teen. One is required to work full time or go to school full time (with passing grades working toward a realistic goal). They get to choose, but it has to be one or the other or they have to move. They are required to follow house rules. My house, my rules. If they don't like it, then there is the door. Living at home as an adult is a privilege, not a right.
I'd also talk to him about the new girlfriend. I don't have a huge issue with the age difference except you do need to check the laws in your state (or he does) to make sure he runs no risks of being charged with statutory rape. I understand the girl's parents are strict, but when there is the will there is always a way. I was uber strict AND I insisted on parental supervision because Nichole's now husband was 3 yrs older than her when they met and she was under 16. (she was not allowed to officially car date until 16) With parental supervision those two found a way ( his parents walked in on them repeatedly and were so embarrassed they just walked back out without saying a word to anyone!) and Nichole was a parent by 16. Don't assume. Find out. I could have, if I'd so desired, charged her now husband because she was 15 and not legal age of consent due to his being 18. I didn't, deed was done and it was obvious it was consensual.
There is nothing wrong with him having a girlfriend, but putting his life on hold for her is not reasonable behavior. He's behaving like a teen, not an adult. He can easily work toward his life goals while waiting to spent time with this girl.....which also lets him practice learning adult skills that he needs. (same thing the girl is doing, she is not sitting around waiting on him....she's going to school) While this may develop into true lasting love (Nichole and her husband have been together 7 yrs now), due to the girls age it might also be the love of the month or whatever and be fairly short term with difficult child left kicking himself for putting his life on hold and now trying to catch up. Nichole's husband worked part time and went to school full time all the while they were dating until he graduated college. Trust me, they still had plenty of time to spend together. lol
I see a lot of 18-20 yr old males get an "attitude" (easy child or difficult child), I think it's the inner desire to fly the nest and try on their own. But that is a huge step, a scary step for many, so they cling to the familiar and get moody. You'll see sons clashing with fathers, when maybe that really has not been an issue before. I used to call it the testosterone wars.
