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First time on here .... Eeeekkk
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<blockquote data-quote="PennyFromTheBlock" data-source="post: 676584" data-attributes="member: 18271"><p>I'm sorry you have to be here, UKMummy, but I'm so glad you found this place. When I first came (found) these forums I was blown away. I was sorry I didn't find this years ago.</p><p></p><p>Your son, my son, many of our sons are so alike. </p><p></p><p>I wanted to speak to the guilt- because Lord knows I get it- my son is extremely jealous of my daughter and of my relationship with my daughter. I tried (and failed) to justify things to him then I realized I don't have to justify anything to him. When he asks me for money and I tell him no, he will ALWAYS say "well, if **sister** asked you, you'd do it, but you treat me different, I guess I'm just a nobody to you and Miss Perfect is all you care about".</p><p></p><p>That used to hurt me. Because I tried really hard (and thought I did a really good job of it) to ensure that my kids were treated equally and didn't feel one was the favorite over the other (I recall hearing many years ago that if your kids each think the OTHER is the favorite, then you are doing good- because you are being equal- it's when they ALL know who the 'favorite' is that it is obvious).</p><p></p><p>I enjoy the company of my daughter- I do not enjoy the company of my son. He created that - not me. I tried. I really did. I tried to be equal- and would help him with things when I didn't want to and knew I shouldn't- because I wanted to be "fair". But he always took my kindness for weakness.</p><p></p><p>It also hurt my daughter- because she would sometimes get mad at me for helping him- because look how he talks to you! Look at all the things he has done to you! </p><p></p><p>It's a fine line.</p><p></p><p>Big Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PennyFromTheBlock, post: 676584, member: 18271"] I'm sorry you have to be here, UKMummy, but I'm so glad you found this place. When I first came (found) these forums I was blown away. I was sorry I didn't find this years ago. Your son, my son, many of our sons are so alike. I wanted to speak to the guilt- because Lord knows I get it- my son is extremely jealous of my daughter and of my relationship with my daughter. I tried (and failed) to justify things to him then I realized I don't have to justify anything to him. When he asks me for money and I tell him no, he will ALWAYS say "well, if **sister** asked you, you'd do it, but you treat me different, I guess I'm just a nobody to you and Miss Perfect is all you care about". That used to hurt me. Because I tried really hard (and thought I did a really good job of it) to ensure that my kids were treated equally and didn't feel one was the favorite over the other (I recall hearing many years ago that if your kids each think the OTHER is the favorite, then you are doing good- because you are being equal- it's when they ALL know who the 'favorite' is that it is obvious). I enjoy the company of my daughter- I do not enjoy the company of my son. He created that - not me. I tried. I really did. I tried to be equal- and would help him with things when I didn't want to and knew I shouldn't- because I wanted to be "fair". But he always took my kindness for weakness. It also hurt my daughter- because she would sometimes get mad at me for helping him- because look how he talks to you! Look at all the things he has done to you! It's a fine line. Big Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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