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General Parenting
Five years into an adoption and the issues keep getting more complicated for my 9 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760347" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am guessing that due to early trauma and the late age of adoption your son has some level of reactive attachment disorder. The sister sounds like it too. Often that is the big picture with adopted kids, covered up by other diagnoses such as ADHD and bipolar. Now they could have those disorders too, but Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the worst and least treatable one. I am telling this to you because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) was not told to me, not mentioned, and our daughter certainly has it. She is in her 30s and unattached and floundering and I wish we had known about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)'s very common existence in adopted kids when she was young. Maybe we could have helped her more if we had known so I am giving you this knowledge. Study Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Learn all you can.</p><p></p><p>Reactivate Attachment Disorder is caused by early losses and can start in infancy. Every adopted child loses his first parents. In your case your dear son also was pulled away from a sister, another big loss, even if they did not do well together. And, not of your fault at all, he must travel to different countries which can cause losses. Only you know if this is good for him.</p><p></p><p>My post is not meant to hurt or scare you but to hope you can learn about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and help your son so that he is not ever in his 30s and like my daughter. I think it would be good if he is in constant counseling. We so regret thinking she would just get over it as she matured. We did not counseling. I see do many mistakes we made.....</p><p></p><p>Adopted kids, in general, have more psychological and learning problems, percentage wise, than biological kids. There is much proof of this. They need in my opinion special understanding. My daughter is from a south American country so we adopted abroad too. She told me she never felt a part of our family although she says she knows we loved her....it was not enough ..she said that too. And she left us to be homeless with her horrible husband. They live in an old motorhome far away and she won't work.</p><p></p><p>My two bio kids have no big problems and we raised them the same. They are very successful. Kay had the same advantages of not more as we tried so hard to help her launch.</p><p></p><p>I send you all my love and prayers and hope this helped. Please be very proactive now while he is still young. Been at this for a long time. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760347, member: 23706"] I am guessing that due to early trauma and the late age of adoption your son has some level of reactive attachment disorder. The sister sounds like it too. Often that is the big picture with adopted kids, covered up by other diagnoses such as ADHD and bipolar. Now they could have those disorders too, but Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the worst and least treatable one. I am telling this to you because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) was not told to me, not mentioned, and our daughter certainly has it. She is in her 30s and unattached and floundering and I wish we had known about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)'s very common existence in adopted kids when she was young. Maybe we could have helped her more if we had known so I am giving you this knowledge. Study Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Learn all you can. Reactivate Attachment Disorder is caused by early losses and can start in infancy. Every adopted child loses his first parents. In your case your dear son also was pulled away from a sister, another big loss, even if they did not do well together. And, not of your fault at all, he must travel to different countries which can cause losses. Only you know if this is good for him. My post is not meant to hurt or scare you but to hope you can learn about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and help your son so that he is not ever in his 30s and like my daughter. I think it would be good if he is in constant counseling. We so regret thinking she would just get over it as she matured. We did not counseling. I see do many mistakes we made..... Adopted kids, in general, have more psychological and learning problems, percentage wise, than biological kids. There is much proof of this. They need in my opinion special understanding. My daughter is from a south American country so we adopted abroad too. She told me she never felt a part of our family although she says she knows we loved her....it was not enough ..she said that too. And she left us to be homeless with her horrible husband. They live in an old motorhome far away and she won't work. My two bio kids have no big problems and we raised them the same. They are very successful. Kay had the same advantages of not more as we tried so hard to help her launch. I send you all my love and prayers and hope this helped. Please be very proactive now while he is still young. Been at this for a long time. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Five years into an adoption and the issues keep getting more complicated for my 9 year old son
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