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Family of Origin
FOO bad affects on our own children...did it happen?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 674509" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Does anyone think we were singled out because of something intrinsic to us? Or does it seem more to have been that the abuser was doing what she (or he) did routinely, but our responses to their behaviors were different; gave them pause, and that is when the targeting began, and the need to ally against.</p><p></p><p>I actually think it is because our responses were different.</p><p></p><p>From the beginning, we were different, maybe.</p><p></p><p>Just lately, I am very much okay with that. Little awkward, sometimes.</p><p></p><p>Well okay, a lot awkward. That is why we need to practice listening. We think differently, maybe. Sometimes though, the more I listen, the less I believe it.</p><p></p><p>So there is that.</p><p></p><p>This sounds like a circle but it isn't. This is part of learning we are trustworthy allies for ourselves. We listened before with good intentions and heard better things than were said. Then, we listened is silence and went "...what?" Somewhere between those two extremes is good judgment, is the ability maybe, to see fully and do nothing and not pay for it with guilt or intent to create something we wish for but do not have.</p><p></p><p>And maybe, a way to be alone as we are and just be.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Or I could be all wet again this morning.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 674509, member: 17461"] Does anyone think we were singled out because of something intrinsic to us? Or does it seem more to have been that the abuser was doing what she (or he) did routinely, but our responses to their behaviors were different; gave them pause, and that is when the targeting began, and the need to ally against. I actually think it is because our responses were different. From the beginning, we were different, maybe. Just lately, I am very much okay with that. Little awkward, sometimes. Well okay, a lot awkward. That is why we need to practice listening. We think differently, maybe. Sometimes though, the more I listen, the less I believe it. So there is that. This sounds like a circle but it isn't. This is part of learning we are trustworthy allies for ourselves. We listened before with good intentions and heard better things than were said. Then, we listened is silence and went "...what?" Somewhere between those two extremes is good judgment, is the ability maybe, to see fully and do nothing and not pay for it with guilt or intent to create something we wish for but do not have. And maybe, a way to be alone as we are and just be. Cedar Or I could be all wet again this morning. :O) [/QUOTE]
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FOO bad affects on our own children...did it happen?
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