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Family of Origin
For Cedar or anyone: My dad did it again...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 651176" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I hope we are helping other people too. It is so painful to feel your "family" is blaming you for everything that goes wrong and that you feel they are right. It's gaslighting, of course.</p><p></p><p>I do see genetics in here. That's why, after Bart, I decided never to have any more biological kids. I saw the genetics thang early on. </p><p></p><p>I did not really see how my sister was abusing me with her golden double standard either. In fact, as obvious at this double standard is, I didn't see it until a month or so ago. Although she will cut me off and call the cops if I try to find out why she cut me off (assuming I don't know and want to know), she will put up with real, mean, constant abuse from any man she finds hot, her friends after they have been nasty to her, my father (I smell money, honey), and anyone. I'm the only one who gets her cut offs these days. Actually she has always saved them for people in our family-of-origin. She would never cut off a man..lolol. No matter how mean Married Man and Abusive Boyfriend were to her, she COULDN'T cut them off. She loooooooooooooved them. A few months before the last cut off, she was bullied and tossed around by her group of drinking buddies that are her friends. They even defriended her on FB!!! The horror of it all!!!! Well, she forgave them. I think I am the target of her frustration. She is often mistreated. This is a fact. She, however, is choosing to hang around with toxic people who abuse her and is choosing to keep hanging in there for more. So then there's Sis who she can cut off, and make feel bad, so there!!!!</p><p></p><p> Maybe I was too nice to her...lol. She liked people better if they were deliberately malicious most of the time.</p><p></p><p>I consider myself her dart board..lol.</p><p></p><p>We are done. I miss her from time-to-time because, when she is not being a total arse, she can be fun and we do share a family. But most of the time I'm glad she is gone to be abused by her many other abusers, whom she allows to do it. </p><p></p><p>It has been a week and Dad hasn't called me, even with the letter, which he only got because I am not going to kick a ninety year old to the curb. He may never call me again. This is his choice. I can't worry about it (and don't).</p><p></p><p>We are certainly helping one another heal. I'm so glad that I can help you, like you help me. Together we will continue to stand strong <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 651176, member: 1550"] I hope we are helping other people too. It is so painful to feel your "family" is blaming you for everything that goes wrong and that you feel they are right. It's gaslighting, of course. I do see genetics in here. That's why, after Bart, I decided never to have any more biological kids. I saw the genetics thang early on. I did not really see how my sister was abusing me with her golden double standard either. In fact, as obvious at this double standard is, I didn't see it until a month or so ago. Although she will cut me off and call the cops if I try to find out why she cut me off (assuming I don't know and want to know), she will put up with real, mean, constant abuse from any man she finds hot, her friends after they have been nasty to her, my father (I smell money, honey), and anyone. I'm the only one who gets her cut offs these days. Actually she has always saved them for people in our family-of-origin. She would never cut off a man..lolol. No matter how mean Married Man and Abusive Boyfriend were to her, she COULDN'T cut them off. She loooooooooooooved them. A few months before the last cut off, she was bullied and tossed around by her group of drinking buddies that are her friends. They even defriended her on FB!!! The horror of it all!!!! Well, she forgave them. I think I am the target of her frustration. She is often mistreated. This is a fact. She, however, is choosing to hang around with toxic people who abuse her and is choosing to keep hanging in there for more. So then there's Sis who she can cut off, and make feel bad, so there!!!! Maybe I was too nice to her...lol. She liked people better if they were deliberately malicious most of the time. I consider myself her dart board..lol. We are done. I miss her from time-to-time because, when she is not being a total arse, she can be fun and we do share a family. But most of the time I'm glad she is gone to be abused by her many other abusers, whom she allows to do it. It has been a week and Dad hasn't called me, even with the letter, which he only got because I am not going to kick a ninety year old to the curb. He may never call me again. This is his choice. I can't worry about it (and don't). We are certainly helping one another heal. I'm so glad that I can help you, like you help me. Together we will continue to stand strong :) [/QUOTE]
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