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For Cedar or anyone: My dad did it again...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 651223" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, thanks again.</p><p></p><p>If my sister is in any way jealous of me, she hides it. I think she is more in competition with me and she thinks she won. After all, her mother (I guess she was mine too) loved her, after she began to flatter her and married a man who did. She went to college and I didn't. She was always prettier than me, although she has also always been anorexic, but I truly believe she thinks she has a body that men want BECAUSE she is barely there. You can not convince her that she is still anorexic. I just think she is unhappy and takes her unhappiness out on the nearest target that she feels won't screw up her social life. First it was my brother and grandma. Then my dad for a bit. Actually, I think it may have been Dad who dumped her for a while. This was common in our family, although Sis did it the most. After she buddied up with her mother, she could find favor with her mother by picking on me and she did...over and over again.</p><p></p><p>The first cut off lasted three years. Why? Well, ten years before she cut me off, my sister thinks I told my mother some bad things about her (which I did, but not for th e reason she thinks) to make my mother think less of her. That wasn't my main reason, although yeah, there was a little of that there. But 90% of it was that I was angry that my mother was treating my sister, like shiot. After all, my sister was still in college and my mother would leave her alone on Thanksgiving to go run to her new squeeze's house. And she did not want to pay when my sister was told she may be very sick and I was fuming at my mother. But if I tell that to Sis, she says, no, I just wanted to make her look bad. Ok, so say I wanted to make her look bad. That is worth a three year cut off, TEN YEARS LATER???? On the other hand, Married Man, Abusive Boyfriend and Drunking Buddy friends were cruel to her over and over again and she didn't toss THEM out of her life. Hmmmmmmm. Well, I do think it is personal, but I no longer care. I just see it with clear eyes. It IS personal, but it's not MY problem, it's hers. I wonder who she picks on now. She has run out of people. And I know she is still going back to her abusers. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps she is jealous...that I have freed myself of my abusers? That I am happy? That's possible. She does have three seemingly very nice kids...not that she spends much time with them between boyfriends, but my kdis have had a lot more issues than hers have. I don't think it's jealousy. I think it's plain old fashion meanness. The little kid inside of her that still gets hurt by her own choosing needs a scapegoat. And she can drag my brother along too. Not that the two of them are that close. They don't see each other much. </p><p></p><p>Your mom and sister, talking trash about that poor nice lady, remind me of my family of origin too. My mom used to do it all the time. She especially picked apart every boy I ever dated and all my friends. To my knowledge, she had no friends. Sis makes so much fun of her "friends" that they'd hate her and dump her if they knew. These are all just nasty, petty people who make themselves feel bigger by putting others down.</p><p></p><p>Dad still hasn't called. Maybe I will be free of my entire DNA collection. I have no idea if he will call again. My guess is, being dramatic, he called my sister to yell at her for letting me know that she knew and they got into a huge fight and he is either sick of us both or just mad at me. I have no given it too much thought. Just here. Just when we do our "therapy." </p><p></p><p>I am so glad you're on this board!!!!! Thanks for the input again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 651223, member: 1550"] Cedar, thanks again. If my sister is in any way jealous of me, she hides it. I think she is more in competition with me and she thinks she won. After all, her mother (I guess she was mine too) loved her, after she began to flatter her and married a man who did. She went to college and I didn't. She was always prettier than me, although she has also always been anorexic, but I truly believe she thinks she has a body that men want BECAUSE she is barely there. You can not convince her that she is still anorexic. I just think she is unhappy and takes her unhappiness out on the nearest target that she feels won't screw up her social life. First it was my brother and grandma. Then my dad for a bit. Actually, I think it may have been Dad who dumped her for a while. This was common in our family, although Sis did it the most. After she buddied up with her mother, she could find favor with her mother by picking on me and she did...over and over again. The first cut off lasted three years. Why? Well, ten years before she cut me off, my sister thinks I told my mother some bad things about her (which I did, but not for th e reason she thinks) to make my mother think less of her. That wasn't my main reason, although yeah, there was a little of that there. But 90% of it was that I was angry that my mother was treating my sister, like shiot. After all, my sister was still in college and my mother would leave her alone on Thanksgiving to go run to her new squeeze's house. And she did not want to pay when my sister was told she may be very sick and I was fuming at my mother. But if I tell that to Sis, she says, no, I just wanted to make her look bad. Ok, so say I wanted to make her look bad. That is worth a three year cut off, TEN YEARS LATER???? On the other hand, Married Man, Abusive Boyfriend and Drunking Buddy friends were cruel to her over and over again and she didn't toss THEM out of her life. Hmmmmmmm. Well, I do think it is personal, but I no longer care. I just see it with clear eyes. It IS personal, but it's not MY problem, it's hers. I wonder who she picks on now. She has run out of people. And I know she is still going back to her abusers. Perhaps she is jealous...that I have freed myself of my abusers? That I am happy? That's possible. She does have three seemingly very nice kids...not that she spends much time with them between boyfriends, but my kdis have had a lot more issues than hers have. I don't think it's jealousy. I think it's plain old fashion meanness. The little kid inside of her that still gets hurt by her own choosing needs a scapegoat. And she can drag my brother along too. Not that the two of them are that close. They don't see each other much. Your mom and sister, talking trash about that poor nice lady, remind me of my family of origin too. My mom used to do it all the time. She especially picked apart every boy I ever dated and all my friends. To my knowledge, she had no friends. Sis makes so much fun of her "friends" that they'd hate her and dump her if they knew. These are all just nasty, petty people who make themselves feel bigger by putting others down. Dad still hasn't called. Maybe I will be free of my entire DNA collection. I have no idea if he will call again. My guess is, being dramatic, he called my sister to yell at her for letting me know that she knew and they got into a huge fight and he is either sick of us both or just mad at me. I have no given it too much thought. Just here. Just when we do our "therapy." I am so glad you're on this board!!!!! Thanks for the input again. [/QUOTE]
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