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? for those with Restraining Order/Order of Protections
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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 338065" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>I have not gotten any restraining order/order of protection against difficult child, but I had an order of protection against my former husband (her dad) for more than a year; first for a year, and then renewed for another year because of continued blatant violations.</p><p> </p><p>I would tend to agree that a restraining order is "just a piece of paper," but an order of protection has teeth, as it brings the offender the IMMEDIATE consequence of being arrested. Also, in my state, a violation of the order of protection ups the charges from assault to aggravated assault.</p><p> </p><p>It's so very sad for a situation to deteriorate to that point, but if it does, I would get an order of protection without hesitation. My perspective is that if the situation gets so volatile as to meet the criteria for an order of protection, all other measures have been exhausted. At that point, consistency is critical. I filed a report on each and every violation, and after he got tired of being arrested, he left me alone. He had one aggravated assault charge pending, and apparently FINALLY realized he couldn't beat the system. I really believe that the stance of "no compromise--ever" is the only hope for a change in an established pattern of domestic violence.</p><p> </p><p>It would break my heart, but I would take the same measures with difficult child if I were pushed that far. difficult child knows it, too, which makes for a decent "insurance policy." I've kept pointing out to her that my past behavior should help her to predict my future behavior in similar circumstances. As an unemancipated minor, the dynamics were different, but she did in time come to realize that I would call for help with little hesitation. </p><p> </p><p>Now, of course, since she is emancipated, I would respond to her exactly as I responded to her dad--and I loved him very much. I've gone through quite a grieving process regarding him, even though I know his behavior left me little choice. With her, the pain is so much more, but as far as my BEHAVIOR is concerned, I've already completed the "training course" and know what I have to do in a terroristic situation--and I consider it to be nothing less than that. And to think I used to be such a passive personality....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 338065, member: 8226"] I have not gotten any restraining order/order of protection against difficult child, but I had an order of protection against my former husband (her dad) for more than a year; first for a year, and then renewed for another year because of continued blatant violations. I would tend to agree that a restraining order is "just a piece of paper," but an order of protection has teeth, as it brings the offender the IMMEDIATE consequence of being arrested. Also, in my state, a violation of the order of protection ups the charges from assault to aggravated assault. It's so very sad for a situation to deteriorate to that point, but if it does, I would get an order of protection without hesitation. My perspective is that if the situation gets so volatile as to meet the criteria for an order of protection, all other measures have been exhausted. At that point, consistency is critical. I filed a report on each and every violation, and after he got tired of being arrested, he left me alone. He had one aggravated assault charge pending, and apparently FINALLY realized he couldn't beat the system. I really believe that the stance of "no compromise--ever" is the only hope for a change in an established pattern of domestic violence. It would break my heart, but I would take the same measures with difficult child if I were pushed that far. difficult child knows it, too, which makes for a decent "insurance policy." I've kept pointing out to her that my past behavior should help her to predict my future behavior in similar circumstances. As an unemancipated minor, the dynamics were different, but she did in time come to realize that I would call for help with little hesitation. Now, of course, since she is emancipated, I would respond to her exactly as I responded to her dad--and I loved him very much. I've gone through quite a grieving process regarding him, even though I know his behavior left me little choice. With her, the pain is so much more, but as far as my BEHAVIOR is concerned, I've already completed the "training course" and know what I have to do in a terroristic situation--and I consider it to be nothing less than that. And to think I used to be such a passive personality.... [/QUOTE]
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