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"Friends"...why is it so hard to get away from them?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638479" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We stayed out of our kid's personal lives because we didn't even really know the truth about w hat was going on and we wanted them to learn the skills to handle adversity. Because we didn't intervene, things with (cough, cough) "friends" got so scary for Daughter that she decided drug life wasn't worth it and quit. If we had been there to cushion her, who knows? She feels we did the right thing. Would all difficult children? Probably not. Some like their lifestyles and want us to make their lifestyles easy for them.</p><p></p><p>This is a judgment call.</p><p></p><p>Jabber, about the whole mom thing. Yes, it is there and you only have one child, which I think makes a difference. Sometimes I shudder thinking of 37 as my only child. I am so grateful we decided to adopt more children and know true childr/parent love that comes easy. With 37 it was NEVER easy...and still is not. There are conditions.</p><p></p><p>In my case it has always been harder to let go of my well-behaved loving childreb than difficult children. I have such a dislike for illegal activities, that it was almost a relief when difficult children were gone. Once Julie became a major easy child, our relationship really took off for the good. She is one of my heroes. I know it is not easy to totally quit drug use and even stop smoking cigarettes. And she knows she is one of my heroes <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Sonic, my autistic son who always tries and is always so kind, is my other hero. And he knows it too. Jumper is my hero too...she had some bad stuff happen to her yet she is such a good person and is living such a positive life and also is loved by her friends..and missed at home by us. I'm quite sure she knows how much we appreciate her as well as love her. It is easier in my opinion to express our love to these great people than to express it to my not-so-nice son who won't drive four hours to Chicago so I can know my grandson nor even bother to learn Skype so I can know him that way. Sometimes I want to say, "I HATE THE WAY YOU ARE." Of course, I have never said that. But I think about it. We had a whopping telephone conversation about maybe bringing Grandson to Chicago last night and he slammed the phone on my ear. It seems he thinks everyone should travel to see him and it is everyone else's fault if we don't. There is more to the story, because most of us CAN'T go there, but that is maybe for it's own thread.</p><p></p><p>Just some off-topic chat here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638479, member: 1550"] We stayed out of our kid's personal lives because we didn't even really know the truth about w hat was going on and we wanted them to learn the skills to handle adversity. Because we didn't intervene, things with (cough, cough) "friends" got so scary for Daughter that she decided drug life wasn't worth it and quit. If we had been there to cushion her, who knows? She feels we did the right thing. Would all difficult children? Probably not. Some like their lifestyles and want us to make their lifestyles easy for them. This is a judgment call. Jabber, about the whole mom thing. Yes, it is there and you only have one child, which I think makes a difference. Sometimes I shudder thinking of 37 as my only child. I am so grateful we decided to adopt more children and know true childr/parent love that comes easy. With 37 it was NEVER easy...and still is not. There are conditions. In my case it has always been harder to let go of my well-behaved loving childreb than difficult children. I have such a dislike for illegal activities, that it was almost a relief when difficult children were gone. Once Julie became a major easy child, our relationship really took off for the good. She is one of my heroes. I know it is not easy to totally quit drug use and even stop smoking cigarettes. And she knows she is one of my heroes :) Sonic, my autistic son who always tries and is always so kind, is my other hero. And he knows it too. Jumper is my hero too...she had some bad stuff happen to her yet she is such a good person and is living such a positive life and also is loved by her friends..and missed at home by us. I'm quite sure she knows how much we appreciate her as well as love her. It is easier in my opinion to express our love to these great people than to express it to my not-so-nice son who won't drive four hours to Chicago so I can know my grandson nor even bother to learn Skype so I can know him that way. Sometimes I want to say, "I HATE THE WAY YOU ARE." Of course, I have never said that. But I think about it. We had a whopping telephone conversation about maybe bringing Grandson to Chicago last night and he slammed the phone on my ear. It seems he thinks everyone should travel to see him and it is everyone else's fault if we don't. There is more to the story, because most of us CAN'T go there, but that is maybe for it's own thread. Just some off-topic chat here. [/QUOTE]
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"Friends"...why is it so hard to get away from them?
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