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Parent Emeritus
"Friends"...why is it so hard to get away from them?
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 638499" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Lil -- Wow. I feel you here. "Friends" (which one often wonders about a difficult child's definition of "friends", no?).....a problem. It's an issue over here, too. Not sure why they gravitate toward harmful situations so often. </p><p></p><p>I think difficult child's often think a "friend" is whoever can give them what they (the difficult child) needs in the next 20-min. However, if I understand your post correctly (and subsequent posts), your difficult child is trying to help another difficult child. Is that right? It's admirable, even if he's going about it the wrong way. It's a very strange place to be as difficult child matters generally seem to be dire (and laced with charged emotion -- even if there's no dire element at the time -- they just seem wired that way so often.</p><p></p><p>I think the rest of us tend to think a "friend" is someone who there is "give and take" with......not just "take". Could be wrong on that, that's just how it seems with our difficult child so often.</p><p></p><p>Lil -- You're smart and heartfelt at the same time. That's the best kind of combo! However, it's also a challenging combo.....walking a tightrope with our own needs and our difficult child's.</p><p></p><p>No Contact and Low Contact. We have generally done Low Contact. However, twice we have had No Contact for 6 months each time. No Contact doesn't have to be permanent. It can be worrisome. But, honestly, it can be astoundingly refreshing -- healing for us and, interestingly, healing for our relationship with difficult child (not always, but it was for us).</p><p></p><p>Keeping best thoughts and prayers for you and your situation, Lil.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 638499, member: 18284"] Lil -- Wow. I feel you here. "Friends" (which one often wonders about a difficult child's definition of "friends", no?).....a problem. It's an issue over here, too. Not sure why they gravitate toward harmful situations so often. I think difficult child's often think a "friend" is whoever can give them what they (the difficult child) needs in the next 20-min. However, if I understand your post correctly (and subsequent posts), your difficult child is trying to help another difficult child. Is that right? It's admirable, even if he's going about it the wrong way. It's a very strange place to be as difficult child matters generally seem to be dire (and laced with charged emotion -- even if there's no dire element at the time -- they just seem wired that way so often. I think the rest of us tend to think a "friend" is someone who there is "give and take" with......not just "take". Could be wrong on that, that's just how it seems with our difficult child so often. Lil -- You're smart and heartfelt at the same time. That's the best kind of combo! However, it's also a challenging combo.....walking a tightrope with our own needs and our difficult child's. No Contact and Low Contact. We have generally done Low Contact. However, twice we have had No Contact for 6 months each time. No Contact doesn't have to be permanent. It can be worrisome. But, honestly, it can be astoundingly refreshing -- healing for us and, interestingly, healing for our relationship with difficult child (not always, but it was for us). Keeping best thoughts and prayers for you and your situation, Lil. [/QUOTE]
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"Friends"...why is it so hard to get away from them?
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