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"Friends"...why is it so hard to get away from them?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638503" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>To Headlights Mom: After I kicked out 37, his father, who had more money than me, paid for dive motels for him to stay at, rotating them depending on the "specials" of the week. It wasn't cozy, but it was a roof and it was not MY roof so I was ok with it. Father and I are divorced and don't tell one another what to do.</p><p></p><p>Although I was the one who told my son he couldn't ever come back if he left (he actually chose to leave probably thinking I'd let him come back) I often went to visit him and bring McDonalds and talk to him. The difference was, he did not demand it or call to say, "I'm huuuuuuuuuuuuuungry." I did it on my own terms. For the first time since this kid had been born almost, my life didn't revolve around his quirky and demanding wants and needs. If I didn't want to visit, I didn't.</p><p></p><p>My younger daughter was much calmer with him gone. Him being gone was my main concern. I didn't want him in our space where he could break things, steal, harm anyone or anything or threaten us in any meaningful way. When my ex moved back to town and bought a two bedroom condo so he'd have a place to live, he was abusive to my ex, even shoving him hard and he has always been very sickly. But...it was not me, at least. I never told his dad to do this, although he called me to complain about 37 all the time and ask, "Why is he LIKE this?" He was miserable. Yet he put up with it. He was living in fear until difficult child moved out to get married. To this day, he still talks about those days. Oh, well.</p><p></p><p>"Not my circus. Not my monkey." I love that, but do I have it backwards...lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638503, member: 1550"] To Headlights Mom: After I kicked out 37, his father, who had more money than me, paid for dive motels for him to stay at, rotating them depending on the "specials" of the week. It wasn't cozy, but it was a roof and it was not MY roof so I was ok with it. Father and I are divorced and don't tell one another what to do. Although I was the one who told my son he couldn't ever come back if he left (he actually chose to leave probably thinking I'd let him come back) I often went to visit him and bring McDonalds and talk to him. The difference was, he did not demand it or call to say, "I'm huuuuuuuuuuuuuungry." I did it on my own terms. For the first time since this kid had been born almost, my life didn't revolve around his quirky and demanding wants and needs. If I didn't want to visit, I didn't. My younger daughter was much calmer with him gone. Him being gone was my main concern. I didn't want him in our space where he could break things, steal, harm anyone or anything or threaten us in any meaningful way. When my ex moved back to town and bought a two bedroom condo so he'd have a place to live, he was abusive to my ex, even shoving him hard and he has always been very sickly. But...it was not me, at least. I never told his dad to do this, although he called me to complain about 37 all the time and ask, "Why is he LIKE this?" He was miserable. Yet he put up with it. He was living in fear until difficult child moved out to get married. To this day, he still talks about those days. Oh, well. "Not my circus. Not my monkey." I love that, but do I have it backwards...lol. [/QUOTE]
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"Friends"...why is it so hard to get away from them?
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