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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 639167" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Thanks SuZir and MWM for reinforcing some things I had already been thinking about as well as some new things. Although GFG17 can be a handful in his own right, my so-called easy child kids can be downright nasty to him, but they feel like he deserves it. Maybe he does, but it doesn't give them a pass on their own conduct. As the youngest, they tend to gang up on him, even now. It's kind-of pathetic, actually. A lot of times GFG17 doesn't start the problem, but escalates it once somebody insults him. My daughter, especially, tends to be self-righteous and to try to make him feel bad about having dropped out of high school when she was a perfect student. I think he's doing pretty well despite himself by going to community college classes. Sure it's not Ivy League, but it's something. </p><p></p><p>I don't have a problem with him retiring to his room after he's said Hello to everyone. I'd rather him stay and enjoy himself, but it's OK if it's not possible. And yes, I do think he's got "sensory overload" problems with crowds. Even as a young child, he'd get agitated in big stores, and when he was more like 10 or 12, would say that he just wanted to push everyone down and get out of there. I've wondered if that might be why he had so much trouble in school.</p><p></p><p>So I think my strategy will be to communicate my expectations for a peaceful gathering with all the kids beforehand and try to relax and let him go away if that's what it takes. Sometimes he likes to help cook, so that might help him interact and not be so awkward, also.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 639167, member: 18099"] Thanks SuZir and MWM for reinforcing some things I had already been thinking about as well as some new things. Although GFG17 can be a handful in his own right, my so-called easy child kids can be downright nasty to him, but they feel like he deserves it. Maybe he does, but it doesn't give them a pass on their own conduct. As the youngest, they tend to gang up on him, even now. It's kind-of pathetic, actually. A lot of times GFG17 doesn't start the problem, but escalates it once somebody insults him. My daughter, especially, tends to be self-righteous and to try to make him feel bad about having dropped out of high school when she was a perfect student. I think he's doing pretty well despite himself by going to community college classes. Sure it's not Ivy League, but it's something. I don't have a problem with him retiring to his room after he's said Hello to everyone. I'd rather him stay and enjoy himself, but it's OK if it's not possible. And yes, I do think he's got "sensory overload" problems with crowds. Even as a young child, he'd get agitated in big stores, and when he was more like 10 or 12, would say that he just wanted to push everyone down and get out of there. I've wondered if that might be why he had so much trouble in school. So I think my strategy will be to communicate my expectations for a peaceful gathering with all the kids beforehand and try to relax and let him go away if that's what it takes. Sometimes he likes to help cook, so that might help him interact and not be so awkward, also. [/QUOTE]
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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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