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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Getting some emotional distance....
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 629850" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I can feel your sadness TL. It is so hard to accept when we don't see the kind of relationship with our kids that we always hoped for. I'm not talking about some fairytale relationship, just the normal stuff so many others seem to have. It is a terrible sadness, there is no dispute there. I am glad you have such a special relationship with your daughter, hold onto that. From everything you've said about your trips together she sounds like a very lovely young lady. I feel bad still over how I neglected my easy child during the worst times with difficult child. I wish I had made that special time just for her, but difficult child consumed so much of me. You have always made that time for her even in the worse times. I applaud that.</p><p></p><p>We may have talked about this already but do you know anything of his birthparents and what issues they may have had? You said above you don't know why he turned out this way, it really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his genetic makeup. It isn't fair and it breaks my heart but that is the sad reality. We do the best we can in giving our difficult children the foundation they need and sometimes it just doesn't matter.</p><p></p><p>One thing to remember TL, this has nothing to do with you. I use to think my difficult child hated me because if she loved me she wouldn't be hurting me so much. It wasn't about me at all, it was about her. I had to finally accept that I did not have the power to change her.</p><p></p><p>Do something fun with your easy child tonight if you can. I'm thinking of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 629850, member: 59"] I can feel your sadness TL. It is so hard to accept when we don't see the kind of relationship with our kids that we always hoped for. I'm not talking about some fairytale relationship, just the normal stuff so many others seem to have. It is a terrible sadness, there is no dispute there. I am glad you have such a special relationship with your daughter, hold onto that. From everything you've said about your trips together she sounds like a very lovely young lady. I feel bad still over how I neglected my easy child during the worst times with difficult child. I wish I had made that special time just for her, but difficult child consumed so much of me. You have always made that time for her even in the worse times. I applaud that. We may have talked about this already but do you know anything of his birthparents and what issues they may have had? You said above you don't know why he turned out this way, it really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his genetic makeup. It isn't fair and it breaks my heart but that is the sad reality. We do the best we can in giving our difficult children the foundation they need and sometimes it just doesn't matter. One thing to remember TL, this has nothing to do with you. I use to think my difficult child hated me because if she loved me she wouldn't be hurting me so much. It wasn't about me at all, it was about her. I had to finally accept that I did not have the power to change her. Do something fun with your easy child tonight if you can. I'm thinking of you. [/QUOTE]
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Getting some emotional distance....
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