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Parent Emeritus
Gifts of detaching
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 728846" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I believed that too.....I was taught that a "good person" <u><strong>always</strong></u> forgives.....I thought I could "absorb" all of it somehow, I didn't realize how much I had abandoned myself. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I had that experience when I was in a group setting with other parents of mentally ill adult kids......the therapist and the other parents would say similar things to me and honestly, it was all so new to me to even consider detaching from my only child......I had managed to detach from my bio-family members, but somehow it seemed to me that with your child you simply endlessly keep trying, keep giving, keep taking care of......fortunately, I learned differently. </p><p></p><p>You're doing very well with your boundaries and your resolve newstart. Each step offers you more vitality, strength and peace......I know how difficult it is......however......you're doing it. And, although it doesn't feel good, you are making great strides......</p><p></p><p>We're here for you......hang in there and remember to nurture yourself, be very, very kind to yourself as you make these huge shifts....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 728846, member: 13542"] I believed that too.....I was taught that a "good person" [U][B]always[/B][/U] forgives.....I thought I could "absorb" all of it somehow, I didn't realize how much I had abandoned myself. I had that experience when I was in a group setting with other parents of mentally ill adult kids......the therapist and the other parents would say similar things to me and honestly, it was all so new to me to even consider detaching from my only child......I had managed to detach from my bio-family members, but somehow it seemed to me that with your child you simply endlessly keep trying, keep giving, keep taking care of......fortunately, I learned differently. You're doing very well with your boundaries and your resolve newstart. Each step offers you more vitality, strength and peace......I know how difficult it is......however......you're doing it. And, although it doesn't feel good, you are making great strides...... We're here for you......hang in there and remember to nurture yourself, be very, very kind to yourself as you make these huge shifts.... [/QUOTE]
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Gifts of detaching
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