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<blockquote data-quote="skittles" data-source="post: 759666" data-attributes="member: 2484"><p>oh my what memories this brings back to me. I know exactly how you feel. My son did 5 years fir an armed home invasion, it was nearly two years before i could bring my self to tell his grandmother or anyone outside my immediate household, the excuses i had to make for Christmas ect. I was so ashamed and full of grief. I remember telling my doctor exactly what you said, its like the death of every dream I had of what he may become..and if my son had been ill, injured or God forbid died, I would have had support, but when your child is in prison their is no sympathy, no support, they are not sympathic figures, no one really thinks of you as grieving, angry perhaps but not grieving and yet you most definately are. I feel for you, I know how overwhelming that grief can be, but bailing him out won’t fix it, it won’t bring the future you envisioned back. He can and should do his time and where he may not have the future you envisioned, he will have A future. I sat and cried in the court room when he was sentenced to 5 years. I did not bail out my son, he sat in detention for nearly a year before his case, then they shipped him 4 hours away right from court, would not even let me hug him. I sat in that court room and watched them take him away and knew it would be at least three more years til he would be home, I have no idea how I drove home. That was nearly ten years ago, since he was released he has never been in trouble since, he has trouble maintaining employment but honeslty he would have regardless, and is working hard to get permanent custody of his children (he and i have temp custody of his five children divided between us but thats another story). So as to bailing him out, your not doing him any favours, as i said that wont fix it or assuage your grief, eventually you will cone to accept his future is his to decide you will love and accept him regardless, that is probably the best thing ypu can do for him. Good luck and stay strong. There are other websites etc for families of inmates that I found very helpful, one in particular called prisontalk.com.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="skittles, post: 759666, member: 2484"] oh my what memories this brings back to me. I know exactly how you feel. My son did 5 years fir an armed home invasion, it was nearly two years before i could bring my self to tell his grandmother or anyone outside my immediate household, the excuses i had to make for Christmas ect. I was so ashamed and full of grief. I remember telling my doctor exactly what you said, its like the death of every dream I had of what he may become..and if my son had been ill, injured or God forbid died, I would have had support, but when your child is in prison their is no sympathy, no support, they are not sympathic figures, no one really thinks of you as grieving, angry perhaps but not grieving and yet you most definately are. I feel for you, I know how overwhelming that grief can be, but bailing him out won’t fix it, it won’t bring the future you envisioned back. He can and should do his time and where he may not have the future you envisioned, he will have A future. I sat and cried in the court room when he was sentenced to 5 years. I did not bail out my son, he sat in detention for nearly a year before his case, then they shipped him 4 hours away right from court, would not even let me hug him. I sat in that court room and watched them take him away and knew it would be at least three more years til he would be home, I have no idea how I drove home. That was nearly ten years ago, since he was released he has never been in trouble since, he has trouble maintaining employment but honeslty he would have regardless, and is working hard to get permanent custody of his children (he and i have temp custody of his five children divided between us but thats another story). So as to bailing him out, your not doing him any favours, as i said that wont fix it or assuage your grief, eventually you will cone to accept his future is his to decide you will love and accept him regardless, that is probably the best thing ypu can do for him. Good luck and stay strong. There are other websites etc for families of inmates that I found very helpful, one in particular called prisontalk.com. [/QUOTE]
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