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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 759673" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>My son has been to prison twice and will probably be going back soon. I have not bailed him out but I have gotten him an attorney a couple of times. It is hard for me to tell you to or not to bail him out as I really don't know the circumstances. With my son I knew he was guilty ,thought that he was abusing drugs and we had had many , many problems with him prior to him being arrested. If any of this is the case for your son I would advise you not to bail him out. </p><p>I disagree with Copa that "jail can be fun" and' that is not that bad unless a person is vulnerable with poor boundaries. ' I too worked in a prison and with prisoner after they had been released (not as long as Copa) They do have "fun" for short periods of time, make friends, read and play cards. But they also have to live in very small space some times as small as 8x10 with 2 people. They have to go to the bathroom in front of people, be stripped search after visits, depending on the place they only get outside for a hour maybe every other day. Some prison have program for the inmates if they are lucky enough to get in them. The state we live the programs are only for those that have more than 2 years time. The worse thing I think though is the living in fear of others. You cannot choose your roommate . Many of the people in prison have mental health issues and are not stable. Even if you are assured of yourself there is always testing going on of who is going to be in power. Many of the men I worked with after their release from prison have PTSD. I could go on.</p><p>All this being said sometimes there is not another alternative. I hate that my son has gone through this and that in all likelihood will be in prison again. He is one who has not learned from being locked up but at this point there is not a good alternative for him. </p><p>I hope that your son is one that it will learn from his mistakes and do well when he is released. Like Copa said you do not know what really will happen at this point. They may plead down a lot of cases and he may get probation instead of time if this is his first conviction. Try not to imagine the worse you'll have plenty of time to worry in the future if that happens. </p><p>Good luck it all so very hard to live with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 759673, member: 23328"] My son has been to prison twice and will probably be going back soon. I have not bailed him out but I have gotten him an attorney a couple of times. It is hard for me to tell you to or not to bail him out as I really don't know the circumstances. With my son I knew he was guilty ,thought that he was abusing drugs and we had had many , many problems with him prior to him being arrested. If any of this is the case for your son I would advise you not to bail him out. I disagree with Copa that "jail can be fun" and' that is not that bad unless a person is vulnerable with poor boundaries. ' I too worked in a prison and with prisoner after they had been released (not as long as Copa) They do have "fun" for short periods of time, make friends, read and play cards. But they also have to live in very small space some times as small as 8x10 with 2 people. They have to go to the bathroom in front of people, be stripped search after visits, depending on the place they only get outside for a hour maybe every other day. Some prison have program for the inmates if they are lucky enough to get in them. The state we live the programs are only for those that have more than 2 years time. The worse thing I think though is the living in fear of others. You cannot choose your roommate . Many of the people in prison have mental health issues and are not stable. Even if you are assured of yourself there is always testing going on of who is going to be in power. Many of the men I worked with after their release from prison have PTSD. I could go on. All this being said sometimes there is not another alternative. I hate that my son has gone through this and that in all likelihood will be in prison again. He is one who has not learned from being locked up but at this point there is not a good alternative for him. I hope that your son is one that it will learn from his mistakes and do well when he is released. Like Copa said you do not know what really will happen at this point. They may plead down a lot of cases and he may get probation instead of time if this is his first conviction. Try not to imagine the worse you'll have plenty of time to worry in the future if that happens. Good luck it all so very hard to live with. [/QUOTE]
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