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Family of Origin
Good article on how to stop being family scapegoat...Confused, Cedar, you may like it too.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 653702" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>This helps me, Witz.</p><p></p><p>I simply acknowledge that I am there, again.</p><p></p><p>I get it now that this thing I am letting myself see or hear, this traumatic, poisonous thing, has been playing all along in my subconscious. It, that thing that happened, has been defining me without my awareness ever since.</p><p></p><p>So, however traumatic it feels when I get to know it consciously?</p><p></p><p>It is my effort, my knowledge, my courage, my choice ~ all of that, to see and confront and <em>know what happened to me</em> for once and for all.</p><p></p><p>I see courage in those times, Witz.</p><p></p><p>They are very hard.</p><p></p><p>I know I will feel weird and off balance until I have reinterpreted the self I was taught in that time.</p><p></p><p>But I know too that I would not have given myself this old trauma to heal unless I were strong enough to heal it.</p><p></p><p>Kinder.</p><p></p><p>The miracle of healing, layer by horrible layer, begins with kindness to the self and awareness of the really destructive, ugly, shaming and shameful things we were taught about the world and about ourselves in it.</p><p></p><p>There may come a time when I hate those who did this to me?</p><p></p><p>But for right now Witz, I am savoring the light.</p><p></p><p>Even when it is really scary, and I don't think I am going to come through this time because the negatives are so all-consuming, I do come through it, Witz.</p><p></p><p>I am so happy for you that you are coming through it, too.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing you need to do, Witz.</p><p></p><p>That is the other thing that helps me when I am in the grip of something awful.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing I need to do about this.</p><p></p><p>I am meant to be healthy, beautifully healthy, and oh, so innocently happy.</p><p></p><p>Not to be too corny, but it feels that innocent, once I see how toxic the leftovers of whatever power trip my abuser was on was for me.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is. We are hardwired for challenge from birth. We can do this.</p><p></p><p>We ARE doing it. Right in the midst of the worst feelings, we are healing those exact feelings. They have been there, poisoning us, weakening us, all along.</p><p></p><p>How strong we have been Witz, to have lived, and to have chosen kindness in our lives when we had that choice, despite what was done to us.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 653702, member: 17461"] This helps me, Witz. I simply acknowledge that I am there, again. I get it now that this thing I am letting myself see or hear, this traumatic, poisonous thing, has been playing all along in my subconscious. It, that thing that happened, has been defining me without my awareness ever since. So, however traumatic it feels when I get to know it consciously? It is my effort, my knowledge, my courage, my choice ~ all of that, to see and confront and [I]know what happened to me[/I] for once and for all. I see courage in those times, Witz. They are very hard. I know I will feel weird and off balance until I have reinterpreted the self I was taught in that time. But I know too that I would not have given myself this old trauma to heal unless I were strong enough to heal it. Kinder. The miracle of healing, layer by horrible layer, begins with kindness to the self and awareness of the really destructive, ugly, shaming and shameful things we were taught about the world and about ourselves in it. There may come a time when I hate those who did this to me? But for right now Witz, I am savoring the light. Even when it is really scary, and I don't think I am going to come through this time because the negatives are so all-consuming, I do come through it, Witz. I am so happy for you that you are coming through it, too. There is nothing you need to do, Witz. That is the other thing that helps me when I am in the grip of something awful. There is nothing I need to do about this. I am meant to be healthy, beautifully healthy, and oh, so innocently happy. Not to be too corny, but it feels that innocent, once I see how toxic the leftovers of whatever power trip my abuser was on was for me. It is what it is. We are hardwired for challenge from birth. We can do this. We ARE doing it. Right in the midst of the worst feelings, we are healing those exact feelings. They have been there, poisoning us, weakening us, all along. How strong we have been Witz, to have lived, and to have chosen kindness in our lives when we had that choice, despite what was done to us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Good article on how to stop being family scapegoat...Confused, Cedar, you may like it too.
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