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Substance Abuse
Gradually stopping enabling
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<blockquote data-quote="Guidance seeker" data-source="post: 727162" data-attributes="member: 22632"><p>Yes Sam3, I did give him money and I have targeted that to be something that I have to stop. I used to give him money to pay off drug debts when he lived at home for fear of him smashing the house, getting beaten up himself and for peace - this was large amounts of money, I was living in madness and sucked into his downward spiral.</p><p></p><p>If I didn’t pay up he would steal from us, well actually, he stole from us anyway. He has still been involved in stealing since we put him out despite the small amount of money we give and the food we provide.</p><p></p><p>Of course, all my ridiculous money giving just made the problem worse, he was such a good payer with the dealers and it was never a problem for him to get into debt. I cringe now when I think how I would make plans with him to pay off his hundreds of £s of debts over a few weeks, always believing it was the last time and he wanted to put it behind him. I think he bought cocaine for his friends but I’ve no proof - he has very low self-esteem and I think he loved how “popular” he perceived this made him (Just my theory though).</p><p></p><p>Since he left Home, it has been a small amount of money he has got for bus fare and food but he will be using it for cannabis so it has to stop.</p><p></p><p>I wish that I could get rid of the daily anxiety I feel - especially in the morning when I wake early and during the evenings - it’s been so much worse since he was first homeless about 6 weeks ago, that’s one of my worst fears for him. I really wish I could detach myself from him. I am trying to, step by step.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Guidance seeker, post: 727162, member: 22632"] Yes Sam3, I did give him money and I have targeted that to be something that I have to stop. I used to give him money to pay off drug debts when he lived at home for fear of him smashing the house, getting beaten up himself and for peace - this was large amounts of money, I was living in madness and sucked into his downward spiral. If I didn’t pay up he would steal from us, well actually, he stole from us anyway. He has still been involved in stealing since we put him out despite the small amount of money we give and the food we provide. Of course, all my ridiculous money giving just made the problem worse, he was such a good payer with the dealers and it was never a problem for him to get into debt. I cringe now when I think how I would make plans with him to pay off his hundreds of £s of debts over a few weeks, always believing it was the last time and he wanted to put it behind him. I think he bought cocaine for his friends but I’ve no proof - he has very low self-esteem and I think he loved how “popular” he perceived this made him (Just my theory though). Since he left Home, it has been a small amount of money he has got for bus fare and food but he will be using it for cannabis so it has to stop. I wish that I could get rid of the daily anxiety I feel - especially in the morning when I wake early and during the evenings - it’s been so much worse since he was first homeless about 6 weeks ago, that’s one of my worst fears for him. I really wish I could detach myself from him. I am trying to, step by step. [/QUOTE]
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