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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 762833" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Similarly, I guess one might say, I have wondered very much the same. </p><p></p><p>We moved to a neighborhood that had an A rated public school. It was expensive and hard especially at first. Why did we do it? We wanted our kids to be around other families and students who took education seriously. Was willing to get tutors if truly needed, helped them with homework etc. Yet neither of my kids graduated from the local schools. Neither of them particularly valued education even though we did and most in the area did.</p><p></p><p> Our son had a very difficult 11th grade year and we sent him to a boarding school. He didn’t try at all and almost out of no where was very irresponsible and angry. Fortunately, in the end…all went well. But in all honesty, it was because we not only used tough love…but HE made the personal decision to do well in life. And tiday he truly is doing very well. Great job, great family, ultra responsible etc.</p><p></p><p>Our daughter…not so much. We gave her everything we could think of and more. A stable, loving home life. Private schools. Homeschooled her a few years. Therapists. Tutors. Driving lessons (more than one set) and a car. She totaled the car shortly thereafter. Even helped pay for her living arrangements etc. Hair stylists, mani pedi …whatever to help her sort of “keep up.” Nothing was appreciated, everything was destroyed …wrecked…ruined…blew up in our faces in a major way, cost us a bundle…etc. When we put more boundaries and demand accountability …nope. Wasn’t happening. In the end…she takes NO accountability , shows to remorse and is periodically mean to us.</p><p></p><p>There is a lesson in here somewhere.</p><p></p><p>We’ve gotten therapy for ourselves, attended a few FA mtgs and read their literature. This has been tremendously helpful. We’ve detached and have moved on with her largely only in the background.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 762833, member: 4152"] Similarly, I guess one might say, I have wondered very much the same. We moved to a neighborhood that had an A rated public school. It was expensive and hard especially at first. Why did we do it? We wanted our kids to be around other families and students who took education seriously. Was willing to get tutors if truly needed, helped them with homework etc. Yet neither of my kids graduated from the local schools. Neither of them particularly valued education even though we did and most in the area did. Our son had a very difficult 11th grade year and we sent him to a boarding school. He didn’t try at all and almost out of no where was very irresponsible and angry. Fortunately, in the end…all went well. But in all honesty, it was because we not only used tough love…but HE made the personal decision to do well in life. And tiday he truly is doing very well. Great job, great family, ultra responsible etc. Our daughter…not so much. We gave her everything we could think of and more. A stable, loving home life. Private schools. Homeschooled her a few years. Therapists. Tutors. Driving lessons (more than one set) and a car. She totaled the car shortly thereafter. Even helped pay for her living arrangements etc. Hair stylists, mani pedi …whatever to help her sort of “keep up.” Nothing was appreciated, everything was destroyed …wrecked…ruined…blew up in our faces in a major way, cost us a bundle…etc. When we put more boundaries and demand accountability …nope. Wasn’t happening. In the end…she takes NO accountability , shows to remorse and is periodically mean to us. There is a lesson in here somewhere. We’ve gotten therapy for ourselves, attended a few FA mtgs and read their literature. This has been tremendously helpful. We’ve detached and have moved on with her largely only in the background. [/QUOTE]
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