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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725165" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Still standing just told you in a perfect way!</p><p></p><p>None of us kick our kids out. I don't like how that sounds, and it is not what we do...our hearts would never allow us to be so cold.</p><p></p><p>What we actually do is give them the choice. We give them a reasonable set of rules, such as, since they are living in our house, coming home at a decent hour, getting part time work or some are even okay with volunteering as a start, complying with mental health appointments and taking prescribed medication, being polite, not doing drugs or being intoxicated in our home etc.</p><p></p><p>Isn't that what WE did in our parents house? Are those such hard rules to follow? Most of the time we are open to sensible negotiation.</p><p></p><p>So we give them easy, basic rules to follow. If they refuse, they chose to leave. Most of our kids had many chances to do the normal rules we laid down. If they end up leaving because snorting meth around us or refusing mental health treatment or swearing at us about how awful we are, the decision was their own.</p><p></p><p>There are rules everywhere. There are even rules in homeless shelters or if you live on the streets (this is usually a choice because our grown kids dont want to follow shelter rules). They quickly learn where to eat (plenty of good pantries and shelters), how to couch surf, etc. They do not die. They are however CHOOSING the street. They prefer it to our simple rules. Mostly it is related to wanting to do drugs whenever they want, wherever they want.</p><p></p><p>This is truthfully the way it is. Nobody just kicks out a grown child. The exception is if the grown child is dangerous to us. We can't allow that.</p><p></p><p>You try to have a peaceful day. You deserve it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725165, member: 1550"] Still standing just told you in a perfect way! None of us kick our kids out. I don't like how that sounds, and it is not what we do...our hearts would never allow us to be so cold. What we actually do is give them the choice. We give them a reasonable set of rules, such as, since they are living in our house, coming home at a decent hour, getting part time work or some are even okay with volunteering as a start, complying with mental health appointments and taking prescribed medication, being polite, not doing drugs or being intoxicated in our home etc. Isn't that what WE did in our parents house? Are those such hard rules to follow? Most of the time we are open to sensible negotiation. So we give them easy, basic rules to follow. If they refuse, they chose to leave. Most of our kids had many chances to do the normal rules we laid down. If they end up leaving because snorting meth around us or refusing mental health treatment or swearing at us about how awful we are, the decision was their own. There are rules everywhere. There are even rules in homeless shelters or if you live on the streets (this is usually a choice because our grown kids dont want to follow shelter rules). They quickly learn where to eat (plenty of good pantries and shelters), how to couch surf, etc. They do not die. They are however CHOOSING the street. They prefer it to our simple rules. Mostly it is related to wanting to do drugs whenever they want, wherever they want. This is truthfully the way it is. Nobody just kicks out a grown child. The exception is if the grown child is dangerous to us. We can't allow that. You try to have a peaceful day. You deserve it. [/QUOTE]
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