Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Had a second chance and blew it....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 652890" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Wakeupcall...you did the right thing. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there...these are the hardest of times. You set a new boundary. When we set new boundaries, people don't like it and they push back...HARD. </p><p></p><p>Feel the full spectrum of your feelings---they are real, true and yours, even the guilt----BUT....wait. Don't act. Don't do a single thing, if you can. Let time go by. </p><p></p><p>Things have a way of continuing to change without you and me doing one single thing. </p><p></p><p>See what happens. Spend the time while waiting on YOU---on feeling those feelings, letting them flow through you...they will not kill you, even though they may not feel good. Sometimes I would just lie on the bed and cry....stare at the wall...take a long nap....hit the pillow hard 25 times...</p><p></p><p>Regarding the phone, I remember stopping the phone with difficult child. It was a hard step to take. One intermediary step could be to get a track phone from Walmart with a phone card for a certain number of minutes. Make it clear that when those minutes run out, you are not going to buy more minutes. It's up to him to buy them with his own money.</p><p></p><p>Be prepared for whatever happens. This is an in-between step and it's for YOU, not for him. You will know that you were again setting a new boundary and giving him a chance to do something new...with a little more time to do it. </p><p></p><p>My son hocked anything and everything. It's just stuff. The path to the rock bottom is a long, painful, ugly one. </p><p></p><p>My son, who had a very good upper middle class life with all of the trappings....threw it all away, little by little over five years. The nice bedroom and private bathroom here at my house, the paid-for college education, the car to drive that he just had to put gas in (insurance paid by us, car paid by us). As we gave him more and more responsibility from age 18, he threw more and more away. </p><p></p><p>It was and is his journey. He made his own situation. We gave him 1,000 chances, and he took none of them.</p><p></p><p>People make choices. And then, they have to live with the consequences of those choices. That is how they, and we, learn.</p><p></p><p>There is no other way. </p><p></p><p>It's painful to watch someone we love so much put themselves and us, through this kind of stupidity and horror.</p><p></p><p>The more you can take steps back, the better off you...and he...will be. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 652890, member: 17542"] Wakeupcall...you did the right thing. Hang in there...these are the hardest of times. You set a new boundary. When we set new boundaries, people don't like it and they push back...HARD. Feel the full spectrum of your feelings---they are real, true and yours, even the guilt----BUT....wait. Don't act. Don't do a single thing, if you can. Let time go by. Things have a way of continuing to change without you and me doing one single thing. See what happens. Spend the time while waiting on YOU---on feeling those feelings, letting them flow through you...they will not kill you, even though they may not feel good. Sometimes I would just lie on the bed and cry....stare at the wall...take a long nap....hit the pillow hard 25 times... Regarding the phone, I remember stopping the phone with difficult child. It was a hard step to take. One intermediary step could be to get a track phone from Walmart with a phone card for a certain number of minutes. Make it clear that when those minutes run out, you are not going to buy more minutes. It's up to him to buy them with his own money. Be prepared for whatever happens. This is an in-between step and it's for YOU, not for him. You will know that you were again setting a new boundary and giving him a chance to do something new...with a little more time to do it. My son hocked anything and everything. It's just stuff. The path to the rock bottom is a long, painful, ugly one. My son, who had a very good upper middle class life with all of the trappings....threw it all away, little by little over five years. The nice bedroom and private bathroom here at my house, the paid-for college education, the car to drive that he just had to put gas in (insurance paid by us, car paid by us). As we gave him more and more responsibility from age 18, he threw more and more away. It was and is his journey. He made his own situation. We gave him 1,000 chances, and he took none of them. People make choices. And then, they have to live with the consequences of those choices. That is how they, and we, learn. There is no other way. It's painful to watch someone we love so much put themselves and us, through this kind of stupidity and horror. The more you can take steps back, the better off you...and he...will be. Hang in there. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Had a second chance and blew it....
Top