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Substance Abuse
Had to ask my son to leave on Saturday
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 762894" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I'm so sorry. This is crushing. You and your husband are under way too much stress. </p><p></p><p>I was mad at God for a long time. But, in the end, accepting what I could not change and can not understand and turning to Him gave me strength. </p><p></p><p>For our son, who does not have a mental illness but did go through a bout of depression and anxiety in high school and subsequently behaved in an extraordinarily difficult and destructive manner, I can tell you it wasn't until HE made a personal decision to change things around that the change came. This and tough love on our part. It was extremely hard for us to do. It was extremely worth it as he totally turned his life around.</p><p></p><p>At times I wonder if tough love would of been more helpful with our daughter, who is mentally ill. We tended to pull back because we never knew what she was capable of. We didn't know if she was capable of doing better. We thought she very well could be capable of worsening. But, it nearly destroyed me/us to continue being any part of her insanity. And the belligerence is just too much. And my best guess all our help and care didn't help one bit. Pulling back (waaay back in our case) saved us and it gives her the opportunity to improve, find other resources to help herself and to grow should she want that. Our job is done.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes these challenging detours in life can provide what's needed to actually go on to the right path. </p><p>I hope your son can figure it all out. Perhaps his brothers will say something to him that will be a positive trigger. Perhaps his spiritual background will provide some grounding. In my heart of hearts, I don't think it is likely something that will come from something you or your husband might say to him. That's somewhat typical. But, there are good signs as he has known what it's like to be sober, to earn a paycheck, to have friends and family etc. He is likely to want that again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 762894, member: 4152"] I'm so sorry. This is crushing. You and your husband are under way too much stress. I was mad at God for a long time. But, in the end, accepting what I could not change and can not understand and turning to Him gave me strength. For our son, who does not have a mental illness but did go through a bout of depression and anxiety in high school and subsequently behaved in an extraordinarily difficult and destructive manner, I can tell you it wasn't until HE made a personal decision to change things around that the change came. This and tough love on our part. It was extremely hard for us to do. It was extremely worth it as he totally turned his life around. At times I wonder if tough love would of been more helpful with our daughter, who is mentally ill. We tended to pull back because we never knew what she was capable of. We didn't know if she was capable of doing better. We thought she very well could be capable of worsening. But, it nearly destroyed me/us to continue being any part of her insanity. And the belligerence is just too much. And my best guess all our help and care didn't help one bit. Pulling back (waaay back in our case) saved us and it gives her the opportunity to improve, find other resources to help herself and to grow should she want that. Our job is done. Sometimes these challenging detours in life can provide what's needed to actually go on to the right path. I hope your son can figure it all out. Perhaps his brothers will say something to him that will be a positive trigger. Perhaps his spiritual background will provide some grounding. In my heart of hearts, I don't think it is likely something that will come from something you or your husband might say to him. That's somewhat typical. But, there are good signs as he has known what it's like to be sober, to earn a paycheck, to have friends and family etc. He is likely to want that again. [/QUOTE]
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Had to ask my son to leave on Saturday
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