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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 736465" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with the others, lbl.</p><p></p><p>Evan may be telling us he needs to transition to a new environment where the regressive pull is not so strong. Or maybe not. I don't know. Is this called a geographical in AA? Seeking change by changing scene.</p><p></p><p>It is not to scapegoat the girl (although she seems not to be a prize.) </p><p></p><p>I went to an AA meeting this past week. I was so impressed by the newly sober members. There was such desire there.</p><p></p><p>What I am trying to say is that this is their journey. You. I. Need to be ready to cut them loose. And accept their terms. This is what I have never ever been able to do. </p><p></p><p>I see it with Evan. Because he is yours not mine. </p><p></p><p>In my own case maybe I am getting there, in the sense that I am beginning again to see my own life as the canvas upon which I must compose. Not his.</p><p></p><p>Your own life is very very full. You are completely worthy of your own focus and force.</p><p></p><p>I accept what bbu writes, that this is the nature of the disease. But I have allowed my energy to be drained and sapped and dissipated for years </p><p></p><p>Evan and j need to be their own pilots and enforcers and bouncers. You are too good to keep doing this. This needs to be his life work. Not yours. Not mine.</p><p></p><p>In guess I'm writing a manifesto or a song of liberation. It is time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 736465, member: 18958"] I agree with the others, lbl. Evan may be telling us he needs to transition to a new environment where the regressive pull is not so strong. Or maybe not. I don't know. Is this called a geographical in AA? Seeking change by changing scene. It is not to scapegoat the girl (although she seems not to be a prize.) I went to an AA meeting this past week. I was so impressed by the newly sober members. There was such desire there. What I am trying to say is that this is their journey. You. I. Need to be ready to cut them loose. And accept their terms. This is what I have never ever been able to do. I see it with Evan. Because he is yours not mine. In my own case maybe I am getting there, in the sense that I am beginning again to see my own life as the canvas upon which I must compose. Not his. Your own life is very very full. You are completely worthy of your own focus and force. I accept what bbu writes, that this is the nature of the disease. But I have allowed my energy to be drained and sapped and dissipated for years Evan and j need to be their own pilots and enforcers and bouncers. You are too good to keep doing this. This needs to be his life work. Not yours. Not mine. In guess I'm writing a manifesto or a song of liberation. It is time. [/QUOTE]
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