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Parent Emeritus
Happy New Year 2021
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759503" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear newstart:</p><p></p><p>I think I am where you are. Weary. I hang onto to the .01 percent of my son that I can recognize. But the reality is that even speaking to him the other .99 of the time is exhausting, painful, and triggering. It seems that any relationship with my son, any proximity to him, ensures that I feel violated, or that I tolerate that my space or dignity or humanity be violated. </p><p></p><p>I have come to accept that this is unacceptable and that there is no resolution that is within my power or control. There are substances that are forever and always incompatible, like oil and water. For oil, there can be no compromise with water. If they can co-exist it is only as antagonists. </p><p></p><p>I find this to be so with my son, for now. My love for him is 100 percent. I can hold in my heart that his love for me is 100 percent. But in proximity to each other, we are antagonists. I can't tolerate who he has become and how he lives. And he can't or won't tolerate any limits or compromise with me. There is only for me at this point acceptance of the reality of where we are.</p><p></p><p>I wish it wasn't so but it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759503, member: 18958"] Dear newstart: I think I am where you are. Weary. I hang onto to the .01 percent of my son that I can recognize. But the reality is that even speaking to him the other .99 of the time is exhausting, painful, and triggering. It seems that any relationship with my son, any proximity to him, ensures that I feel violated, or that I tolerate that my space or dignity or humanity be violated. I have come to accept that this is unacceptable and that there is no resolution that is within my power or control. There are substances that are forever and always incompatible, like oil and water. For oil, there can be no compromise with water. If they can co-exist it is only as antagonists. I find this to be so with my son, for now. My love for him is 100 percent. I can hold in my heart that his love for me is 100 percent. But in proximity to each other, we are antagonists. I can't tolerate who he has become and how he lives. And he can't or won't tolerate any limits or compromise with me. There is only for me at this point acceptance of the reality of where we are. I wish it wasn't so but it is. [/QUOTE]
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Happy New Year 2021
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