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Hard times.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 737268" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You see, I want him to win. But fair and square.</p><p></p><p>I know he targets me not out of malevolence, but utility</p><p></p><p>I am the only safe target. I am the only person alive over whom he has control. The only living person with whom he can be wholly himself.</p><p></p><p>That it is so destructive to me is my own responsibility to deal with. Not his.</p><p></p><p>That is where we are now. With this, I have chosen. Myself.</p><p></p><p>I am beginning to see the victory in this, with your help.</p><p></p><p>I have a sweet life with m. We are safe here.(to a point, but that's another story ) that is to be cherished and protected.</p><p></p><p>We have been reading spiritual books today, in my faith. Buying a dozen more, including Bibles and prayer books in English and Spanish and Hebrew.</p><p></p><p> I am a Jew.. We will begin to celebrate shabbat together, in Spanish and Hebrew. This gives me great solace.</p><p></p><p>We are here with our animals.</p><p></p><p>I bought the most beautiful new duvet cover. A bargain. It is lilac. With Japanese images. Somehow the beauty is not conveyed by this description.</p><p></p><p>You can see the Google image. The cranes by Surya. And I bought a Velvet diamond quilt in amethyst to go with it.</p><p></p><p> I shop compulsively to deal with stress and depression. Not good. Much is going back. But not this bedding.</p><p></p><p>I have to take pleasure where it comes.</p><p></p><p>You can tell I feel better.</p><p></p><p>I am very sad for him and worried and scared. But this is our only chance. Not just for him. For me. I am factoring myself into the equation. Finally. I matter. Finally.</p><p></p><p>Thank you. .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 737268, member: 18958"] You see, I want him to win. But fair and square. I know he targets me not out of malevolence, but utility I am the only safe target. I am the only person alive over whom he has control. The only living person with whom he can be wholly himself. That it is so destructive to me is my own responsibility to deal with. Not his. That is where we are now. With this, I have chosen. Myself. I am beginning to see the victory in this, with your help. I have a sweet life with m. We are safe here.(to a point, but that's another story ) that is to be cherished and protected. We have been reading spiritual books today, in my faith. Buying a dozen more, including Bibles and prayer books in English and Spanish and Hebrew. I am a Jew.. We will begin to celebrate shabbat together, in Spanish and Hebrew. This gives me great solace. We are here with our animals. I bought the most beautiful new duvet cover. A bargain. It is lilac. With Japanese images. Somehow the beauty is not conveyed by this description. You can see the Google image. The cranes by Surya. And I bought a Velvet diamond quilt in amethyst to go with it. I shop compulsively to deal with stress and depression. Not good. Much is going back. But not this bedding. I have to take pleasure where it comes. You can tell I feel better. I am very sad for him and worried and scared. But this is our only chance. Not just for him. For me. I am factoring myself into the equation. Finally. I matter. Finally. Thank you. . [/QUOTE]
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