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Having a hard time Letting Go
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<blockquote data-quote="MommaTried24" data-source="post: 766038" data-attributes="member: 33205"><p>LetGo I am so sorry you are still going through this inner battle with your adopted daughter. I too am in a similar situation with my son who has been in and out of jail for the last 8 years. I went no contact for about 3 years and just recently (for about the last year off and on) allowed contact again. He's currently back in jail for VOP. He called me on speaker phone as he was being arrested. I felt gut punched and body slammed afterwards for days. He didn't follow the rules which he had agreed to when he got out last time so here we are again. I'm sick of it.</p><p></p><p>He called me collect about a month ago and I pretty much told him how I felt and that I would not do jail time with him ever again because it's killing me. Also told him this would be the last time he would ever call me from jail. I've struggled since then with mom guilt. Should I write him, should I not? I decided not to. I've said it all time and time again so what else is there to say? If you ask me, it's a broken record at this point. I feel like if he has it hard enough and misses having any support whatsoever while in there, that maybe he will finally stop going back?</p><p></p><p>I feel the same way as you that sadly, life is truly more peaceful without contact. I love my son (he is my only child) with all of my heart. He was my life for years and I struggle really bad with depression. It breaks my heart as to how our lives and our relationship has turned out because of his choices. I taught him better than this but I decided to get off the rollercoaster ride of drama with him. I'm just going to wait for him to come to me from now on and then I'm going to set even harder boundaries going forward.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure if this even helped you at all but we have to carry on with our lives. We deserve to have peaceful, drama free lives with our grown adult children who show us respect and would never put us through any of this. Sending you love and a big hug!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MommaTried24, post: 766038, member: 33205"] LetGo I am so sorry you are still going through this inner battle with your adopted daughter. I too am in a similar situation with my son who has been in and out of jail for the last 8 years. I went no contact for about 3 years and just recently (for about the last year off and on) allowed contact again. He's currently back in jail for VOP. He called me on speaker phone as he was being arrested. I felt gut punched and body slammed afterwards for days. He didn't follow the rules which he had agreed to when he got out last time so here we are again. I'm sick of it. He called me collect about a month ago and I pretty much told him how I felt and that I would not do jail time with him ever again because it's killing me. Also told him this would be the last time he would ever call me from jail. I've struggled since then with mom guilt. Should I write him, should I not? I decided not to. I've said it all time and time again so what else is there to say? If you ask me, it's a broken record at this point. I feel like if he has it hard enough and misses having any support whatsoever while in there, that maybe he will finally stop going back? I feel the same way as you that sadly, life is truly more peaceful without contact. I love my son (he is my only child) with all of my heart. He was my life for years and I struggle really bad with depression. It breaks my heart as to how our lives and our relationship has turned out because of his choices. I taught him better than this but I decided to get off the rollercoaster ride of drama with him. I'm just going to wait for him to come to me from now on and then I'm going to set even harder boundaries going forward. I'm not sure if this even helped you at all but we have to carry on with our lives. We deserve to have peaceful, drama free lives with our grown adult children who show us respect and would never put us through any of this. Sending you love and a big hug! [/QUOTE]
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