Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Having to let go with love
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Heartbroken mom" data-source="post: 726802" data-attributes="member: 22697"><p>New to this forum I know our stories are individual but the themes are helping me</p><p></p><p>Background </p><p>Mentally ill adult son 41 who had a pyschotic break at 30</p><p>Was enabled by girlfriend which allowed him not to get help</p><p>I tried to intervene got services for him he refused mental health program</p><p>Treated early onewith anti psychotics but he did not continue </p><p>6 years girlfriend enabled .he gets worse mental illness until she leaves</p><p>Had not worked or left apartment for 6 years</p><p>Again I go out get him into a program he refuses...part of his mental illness agnosoia is not knowing he is mentally ill</p><p>He lands at my mothers house ( wont admit he is mentally ill)</p><p>Year and half...still not treatment enabled to decline</p><p>Finally she can't deal ..my brother sends to Florida saying start over..delusional son goes again I tried to get him in treatment ..he refused took money from brother to leave state </p><p>Could not come to me as in delusional psychotic state in past has threatened me ...he has never been violent or had any problems with law but does has psychotic episodes ..clearly mentally ill...unstable</p><p></p><p>Worked with Nami...I understand laws..of not being able to have mentally ill treated..my son is college educated ...so hard to watch decline and be powerless to help..systems are very difficult to navigate</p><p></p><p>Once in Florida...of course couldn't get it together still untreated mentally ill..then brother died no more money..ended up homeless...didn't know where was ..finally found out ...pointed in directions...but very difficult there...mother swooped in and put him in hotel,after,6 months in shelter....she has been paying last</p><p></p><p>Last 3 1/2 years in a hotel...untreated...enabled but not on street...over 400 pounds ...paranoid not leaving room....</p><p></p><p>I have had to let go..and suffered a lot ...but recently I had connected to him as I feared my mother was going to die and what would happen...we connected ...clearly mental illness worsened ...wants me to bring him to me...I told him no he has to get treatment...all this time. Now 12 years ...he has not had proper diagnosis so he could not get disabilty....</p><p></p><p>My mother did die ..a month ago so now support over...he is fearful which is so heartbreaking but I have told him he can't come here..he has to go to doctor...he did...next go for evaluation</p><p></p><p>I am dealing with the fear of the trajectory of this </p><p>And I am here so I can remember </p><p>I have to love and let go</p><p>Be there as I can</p><p>But not take in...</p><p>I have limited funds and am doing the best I can to connect him to services </p><p></p><p>I have my own devastation as my beloved husband died only 4 months ago and I am in deep grief </p><p></p><p>I can see how it would be easy for me to lose myself...in this grief on top of grief...</p><p></p><p>This forum is helpful because I can see how being so vulnerable and another loss....is too much to bear</p><p>But I need to hold onto taking care of myself ...I am putting up boundaries with love...it's a balance...</p><p>Resting today...telling myself...I tried many times and I have to know I can't live his life even when it is mental illness..he will be homeless or worse</p><p></p><p>I have set boundaries and he has taken Some steps for himself ...first time in 12 years...he does know how to guilt me and I can fall into that...but I know this is bigger than life ...I have support of friends but hearing from those who have done this is so helpful </p><p></p><p>I have a therapist...but reading about the boundaries and mom guilt helps me know I am not alone In The anguish but I have enough to just care for myself now....</p><p>Thanks</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Heartbroken mom, post: 726802, member: 22697"] New to this forum I know our stories are individual but the themes are helping me Background Mentally ill adult son 41 who had a pyschotic break at 30 Was enabled by girlfriend which allowed him not to get help I tried to intervene got services for him he refused mental health program Treated early onewith anti psychotics but he did not continue 6 years girlfriend enabled .he gets worse mental illness until she leaves Had not worked or left apartment for 6 years Again I go out get him into a program he refuses...part of his mental illness agnosoia is not knowing he is mentally ill He lands at my mothers house ( wont admit he is mentally ill) Year and half...still not treatment enabled to decline Finally she can't deal ..my brother sends to Florida saying start over..delusional son goes again I tried to get him in treatment ..he refused took money from brother to leave state Could not come to me as in delusional psychotic state in past has threatened me ...he has never been violent or had any problems with law but does has psychotic episodes ..clearly mentally ill...unstable Worked with Nami...I understand laws..of not being able to have mentally ill treated..my son is college educated ...so hard to watch decline and be powerless to help..systems are very difficult to navigate Once in Florida...of course couldn't get it together still untreated mentally ill..then brother died no more money..ended up homeless...didn't know where was ..finally found out ...pointed in directions...but very difficult there...mother swooped in and put him in hotel,after,6 months in shelter....she has been paying last Last 3 1/2 years in a hotel...untreated...enabled but not on street...over 400 pounds ...paranoid not leaving room.... I have had to let go..and suffered a lot ...but recently I had connected to him as I feared my mother was going to die and what would happen...we connected ...clearly mental illness worsened ...wants me to bring him to me...I told him no he has to get treatment...all this time. Now 12 years ...he has not had proper diagnosis so he could not get disabilty.... My mother did die ..a month ago so now support over...he is fearful which is so heartbreaking but I have told him he can't come here..he has to go to doctor...he did...next go for evaluation I am dealing with the fear of the trajectory of this And I am here so I can remember I have to love and let go Be there as I can But not take in... I have limited funds and am doing the best I can to connect him to services I have my own devastation as my beloved husband died only 4 months ago and I am in deep grief I can see how it would be easy for me to lose myself...in this grief on top of grief... This forum is helpful because I can see how being so vulnerable and another loss....is too much to bear But I need to hold onto taking care of myself ...I am putting up boundaries with love...it's a balance... Resting today...telling myself...I tried many times and I have to know I can't live his life even when it is mental illness..he will be homeless or worse I have set boundaries and he has taken Some steps for himself ...first time in 12 years...he does know how to guilt me and I can fall into that...but I know this is bigger than life ...I have support of friends but hearing from those who have done this is so helpful I have a therapist...but reading about the boundaries and mom guilt helps me know I am not alone In The anguish but I have enough to just care for myself now.... Thanks [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Having to let go with love
Top