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Parent Emeritus
He’s done it again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 738041" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I'm sorry. Please don't let this drive a wedge between you and your husband. Sometimes parent's aren't at the same stage yet when it comes to detachment and you are so right...anything you say will sound like "I told you so". That won't help anyone. As bad as you feel, I'm sure your husband feels worse. My husband and I were there too at one point. He'd have cut our son off entirely. I kept trying. We tried agreeing, but I started feeling like I was asking permission to spend money on my own son - it led to resentment. We eventually agreed to a set amount per month I could send without even mentioning it to my husband...never had to, but it eased our tension. </p><p></p><p>I do recommend counseling, for you and your husband to get on the same page and for both of you to reach a level of detachment and freedom from the awful FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) that is part of the lives of parents of kids like ours. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs to you. I hope you find your peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 738041, member: 17309"] I'm sorry. Please don't let this drive a wedge between you and your husband. Sometimes parent's aren't at the same stage yet when it comes to detachment and you are so right...anything you say will sound like "I told you so". That won't help anyone. As bad as you feel, I'm sure your husband feels worse. My husband and I were there too at one point. He'd have cut our son off entirely. I kept trying. We tried agreeing, but I started feeling like I was asking permission to spend money on my own son - it led to resentment. We eventually agreed to a set amount per month I could send without even mentioning it to my husband...never had to, but it eased our tension. I do recommend counseling, for you and your husband to get on the same page and for both of you to reach a level of detachment and freedom from the awful FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) that is part of the lives of parents of kids like ours. Big hugs to you. I hope you find your peace. [/QUOTE]
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