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Substance Abuse
He admitted he's been smoking Heroin
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633132" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>What do you think you can do to stop him? Only he can stop him. You have no control over him, only yourself and your reaction to him. Try to relax. He obviously isn't go to be what YOU want him to be. He will be what HE wants himself to be. The ONLY thing you can do is to not make being a heroine addict fun. No money. No toys. I'd make him leave the house, even if he becomes homeless. Wouldn't want those drugs and the way they make one act in my house nor would I want his criminal "friends" in my house. There is nothing you can do to stop him/them from stealing to sell things or to take money for drugs when you aren't home. His sister is not going to put up with him. Nobody will. Not while he is still a drug addict. I wish there was something we parents COULD do to stop a loved one from drowning in drugland, but you can try everything. In the end it is up to him. Nagging won't help, although he'll gladly make glib promises to you for favors, but he won't keep those promises. Crying won't help. Writing him letters about what his drug abuse is doing to you won't help. NOT UNTIL HE IS READY TO QUIT.</p><p></p><p>If your husband takes him to the mountains, he'll find a way to use heroine. Addicts are clever. We used to think my daughter was sleeping. She put her radio on and that old trick...clothes under her bedding to make it look like a person....and she ran around the streets by taking out her window. We put bars on the window. She still got out when we were asleep. I was a stay at home mom and homeschooled her the last two years to keep her out of trouble. Those things didn't work either. The only thing that worked was her finally getting tired of being chased down by drug dealers and deciding she was fed up with herself and the life she had chosen. She quit on her own and didn't even tell us she was doing it. She never did go to a rehab.</p><p></p><p>Have you ever gone to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting? I highly recommend it. It is very useful to try to find ways to live a great life in spite of your son and his issues. You are not him. You must have other loved ones who need you and want you healthy and strong. These adult kids tend to suck so much of the life out of us that we spend all our time worrying about them, although it doesn't help them, and neglecting everyone else, including our own selves. Twelve step is a great organization. If you don't want to try that, then at least get a therapist for yourself who will help YOU, not focus on your son, but focus on YOU and how you can deal with this and detach from his drama with love.There is a good article on detachment on the Parent Emeritus forum. And we MUST detach or become as crazy as they are. And that's not fair to our other loved ones or ourselves, whom we should also love. We matter as much as our adult children matter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633132, member: 1550"] What do you think you can do to stop him? Only he can stop him. You have no control over him, only yourself and your reaction to him. Try to relax. He obviously isn't go to be what YOU want him to be. He will be what HE wants himself to be. The ONLY thing you can do is to not make being a heroine addict fun. No money. No toys. I'd make him leave the house, even if he becomes homeless. Wouldn't want those drugs and the way they make one act in my house nor would I want his criminal "friends" in my house. There is nothing you can do to stop him/them from stealing to sell things or to take money for drugs when you aren't home. His sister is not going to put up with him. Nobody will. Not while he is still a drug addict. I wish there was something we parents COULD do to stop a loved one from drowning in drugland, but you can try everything. In the end it is up to him. Nagging won't help, although he'll gladly make glib promises to you for favors, but he won't keep those promises. Crying won't help. Writing him letters about what his drug abuse is doing to you won't help. NOT UNTIL HE IS READY TO QUIT. If your husband takes him to the mountains, he'll find a way to use heroine. Addicts are clever. We used to think my daughter was sleeping. She put her radio on and that old trick...clothes under her bedding to make it look like a person....and she ran around the streets by taking out her window. We put bars on the window. She still got out when we were asleep. I was a stay at home mom and homeschooled her the last two years to keep her out of trouble. Those things didn't work either. The only thing that worked was her finally getting tired of being chased down by drug dealers and deciding she was fed up with herself and the life she had chosen. She quit on her own and didn't even tell us she was doing it. She never did go to a rehab. Have you ever gone to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting? I highly recommend it. It is very useful to try to find ways to live a great life in spite of your son and his issues. You are not him. You must have other loved ones who need you and want you healthy and strong. These adult kids tend to suck so much of the life out of us that we spend all our time worrying about them, although it doesn't help them, and neglecting everyone else, including our own selves. Twelve step is a great organization. If you don't want to try that, then at least get a therapist for yourself who will help YOU, not focus on your son, but focus on YOU and how you can deal with this and detach from his drama with love.There is a good article on detachment on the Parent Emeritus forum. And we MUST detach or become as crazy as they are. And that's not fair to our other loved ones or ourselves, whom we should also love. We matter as much as our adult children matter. [/QUOTE]
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He admitted he's been smoking Heroin
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