- Copa I am up in the middle of the night. Happens sometimes. No anxiety. Just not tired.
Copa you are not in any way mean nor could you ever be. Hysterical sometimes, maybe lol. I used to get that way when pressured. Is it a Jewish trait? My mom did it too! But you are not mean.
Regarding M, I think most men tend to cut more to the chase and be less about talk and more about action and also even nice men in my opinion have a harder time dealing with challenges in a kid. Adult or not. A kid the man loves. I think it often takes more time to accept this. My husband was not always as understanding and good with Sonic as he is now and he is as kind as it gets.
My first husband was in total control of everything we did and it suffocated me. So I get not liking to be controlled although I doubt M is close to my ex's level. I felt powerless with him. I loved when he worked and was not home. Fortunately he was phobic about money so he worked two jobs and I worked part time. So I didnt have to see him much, which prolonged our sad marriage.
If J comes home I agree to let the men work things out. J, being male, may actually like handling things with a man and a man's way more than with you. Tetosterone speaks!!
I hope J agrees to come home. I know it would make your heart rest easier. I am getting tired now.
Keep us posted! Love, hugs and a warm blueberry muffin with your favorite latte 
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