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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746866" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you New Leaf.That's the thing. I don't know how I feel. Except the truth be told, I felt liberated at the thought. <em>I want to put this burden down. I want to be free.</em> Yes. I said it. That feels lighter to say it. <em>I don't want to do all the work. </em></p><p></p><p>Maybe my son feels the same way, his version of it. Maybe he wants it just to be easier. He does not want the hassle, either. To have to be anything more than he wants to be, that he feels able to be.</p><p>I am too. There has been a woman off and on who has tried to help me in the house off and on. And she sees me making very slow progress, and then undoing it. She is active in AA and she just leveled with me: <em>this is your life that's ebbing away. If you think you're going to finish the house like this, you're wrong.</em> So I went to the meeting. And she suggested 90 meetings in 90 days, and I obeyed. I am glad I did. I barely drink alcohol at all, but I need what they offer.</p><p></p><p>The virus you describe sounds like you completely ran yourself down to the ground. I am glad you are paying attention. That can get serious. This is what I wrote my dissertation about. Exactly that. And the women who got better were the ones who listened to what their bodies were telling them. Which is: <em>you can't keep going like this. We can't run on empty. We can't give what we don't have to give.</em></p><p>I doubt they will, even if they change, g-d willing, but does it really matter? The important person to get it, is you. That you understand the pain of it, the cost of it, and that it's too much. That you build up again your reserves, through your art, what you love (your canoes, gardening, etc.), sustaining relationships and 20 other things that fill you up, not tear you down.</p><p></p><p>Tornado's craziness is just that. It makes me mad that she lays this on you. But the thing is, it's on us to bulk up so much that it doesn't hurt so much, and when it does we have reserves to bounce back quickly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746866, member: 18958"] Thank you New Leaf.That's the thing. I don't know how I feel. Except the truth be told, I felt liberated at the thought. [I]I want to put this burden down. I want to be free.[/I] Yes. I said it. That feels lighter to say it. [I]I don't want to do all the work. [/I] Maybe my son feels the same way, his version of it. Maybe he wants it just to be easier. He does not want the hassle, either. To have to be anything more than he wants to be, that he feels able to be. I am too. There has been a woman off and on who has tried to help me in the house off and on. And she sees me making very slow progress, and then undoing it. She is active in AA and she just leveled with me: [I]this is your life that's ebbing away. If you think you're going to finish the house like this, you're wrong.[/I] So I went to the meeting. And she suggested 90 meetings in 90 days, and I obeyed. I am glad I did. I barely drink alcohol at all, but I need what they offer. The virus you describe sounds like you completely ran yourself down to the ground. I am glad you are paying attention. That can get serious. This is what I wrote my dissertation about. Exactly that. And the women who got better were the ones who listened to what their bodies were telling them. Which is: [I]you can't keep going like this. We can't run on empty. We can't give what we don't have to give.[/I] I doubt they will, even if they change, g-d willing, but does it really matter? The important person to get it, is you. That you understand the pain of it, the cost of it, and that it's too much. That you build up again your reserves, through your art, what you love (your canoes, gardening, etc.), sustaining relationships and 20 other things that fill you up, not tear you down. Tornado's craziness is just that. It makes me mad that she lays this on you. But the thing is, it's on us to bulk up so much that it doesn't hurt so much, and when it does we have reserves to bounce back quickly. [/QUOTE]
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