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Substance Abuse
He is Ramping up Please give me Strenght.
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 722193" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>You are so right Sam. Darkly comical.</p><p>Then there is our initial reaction to this.</p><p>As our d cs swirl into their addiction and disregard for themselves, us, our homes, lives, <em>we struggle with it too</em>. Who ever thought that we would be faced with such a thing? Sucked in to a world and routine that knocks us off our feet, until we are mired in the swamp of it.</p><p>Desperate for answers and solutions, thinking that somehow<em> we are responsible</em> to provide them.</p><p>We are blinded by our love and the instinctive drive to do <em>something</em>, <em>anything </em>in our power to stop the descent.</p><p>Do we even realize how enmeshed we become?</p><p>I didn't.</p><p>Thought I was being a dutiful, loving, caring mother.</p><p>Thought I was losing my mind, misplacing things.</p><p>Stuff went missing.</p><p>It went from small stuff to bigger stuff, to hubs and I locking our wallets in the car and sleeping with the keys.</p><p>Then stuff went missing from my younger children's rooms.</p><p>Hubs changed their bedroom doorknobs to key locking ones.</p><p>GULP!</p><p>How we rearranged our lives to accommodate the madness!</p><p>DARKLY COMICAL!</p><p>Youngest son at 14 wisely said "Mom, why do we have people living with us that we can't trust?"</p><p>Thus began my journey towards escaping the grasp my two's addiction had on ME.</p><p>I began to see that their descent was my descent as well.</p><p>I was caught up in the swirly whirly of it all, my desperation was as insidious as theirs.</p><p>I took the blinders off.</p><p>My two began to show me over and again, what I needed to know.</p><p>They are drug addicts.</p><p>Drug addicts lie, steal and manipulate.</p><p>UGH.</p><p>Someone has to pull up and out of the descent.</p><p>Someone has to stand strong and look at what is happening for what it is.</p><p>As long as our d c's are in the grasp of addiction, <em>they will not do it</em>.</p><p>They will try everything in their power to try to pull the wool over our eyes, to keep us blinded and desperate right along with them. Copa is right, they know what to say to keep us spinning-abracadabra.</p><p></p><p>Desperate is a horrible place to be</p><p></p><p>de·spair</p><p>dəˈsper/</p><p><em>noun</em></p><ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><strong>1</strong>.<br /> the complete loss or absence of hope.<br /> "<strong>driven to despair</strong>, he throws himself under a train"<br /> synonyms: hopelessness, disheartenment, discouragement, desperation, distress, anguish, unhappiness; <br /> despondency, depression, disconsolateness, melancholy, misery, wretchedness; <br /> defeatism, pessimism</li> </ol><p>The opposite of despair is hope.</p><p> Hope for change, not only for our d c's, but for ourselves. Changing our outlook, our reaction and our response.</p><p>It does not happen quickly, but if we try one step at a time we can do it.</p><p>Each time our d cs show us where they are in their addiction, we can change our reaction.</p><p>Chink in the armor.</p><p>Toughen ourselves up.</p><p>Work towards building our toolbox.</p><p>Stop bargaining for measurable outcomes.</p><p>This is too predictably unpredictable for that.</p><p></p><p>We have no control over what our d c's do.</p><p></p><p>We can however, have control over our reactions.</p><p></p><p>We do not have to sink ever so low to allow our hearts and minds to be twisted alongside with them.</p><p></p><p>It is not easy to do, but tantamount to our surviving this.</p><p></p><p>LBL, I am sorry your son is engaging you in this manner. It is a horrid thing to go through.</p><p> Each time you face this, remind yourself that you have value and worth and it is absurd that your son would disrespect you in such ways.</p><p>Life is too short to be enshrouded in the misery of this.</p><p>You sound strong in your post and determined to pull up and out. We are all here with you on the journey, understanding how difficult it is.</p><p></p><p>That is completely understandable LBL. You have been through the wringer and then some. I hope that you are able to rest and find some peace of mind.</p><p></p><p>Pasa, that’s just awful. I am so sorry.</p><p>It really is flabbergasting that these d cs have absolutely no boundaries or empathy for the hell we go through.</p><p> Drugs just seem to strip them of fellow feeling and natural affection.</p><p>LBL, one day at a time.</p><p>Be very kind and gentle with yourself.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 722193, member: 19522"] You are so right Sam. Darkly comical. Then there is our initial reaction to this. As our d cs swirl into their addiction and disregard for themselves, us, our homes, lives, [I]we struggle with it too[/I]. Who ever thought that we would be faced with such a thing? Sucked in to a world and routine that knocks us off our feet, until we are mired in the swamp of it. Desperate for answers and solutions, thinking that somehow[I] we are responsible[/I] to provide them. We are blinded by our love and the instinctive drive to do [I]something[/I], [I]anything [/I]in our power to stop the descent. Do we even realize how enmeshed we become? I didn't. Thought I was being a dutiful, loving, caring mother. Thought I was losing my mind, misplacing things. Stuff went missing. It went from small stuff to bigger stuff, to hubs and I locking our wallets in the car and sleeping with the keys. Then stuff went missing from my younger children's rooms. Hubs changed their bedroom doorknobs to key locking ones. GULP! How we rearranged our lives to accommodate the madness! DARKLY COMICAL! Youngest son at 14 wisely said "Mom, why do we have people living with us that we can't trust?" Thus began my journey towards escaping the grasp my two's addiction had on ME. I began to see that their descent was my descent as well. I was caught up in the swirly whirly of it all, my desperation was as insidious as theirs. I took the blinders off. My two began to show me over and again, what I needed to know. They are drug addicts. Drug addicts lie, steal and manipulate. UGH. Someone has to pull up and out of the descent. Someone has to stand strong and look at what is happening for what it is. As long as our d c's are in the grasp of addiction, [I]they will not do it[/I]. They will try everything in their power to try to pull the wool over our eyes, to keep us blinded and desperate right along with them. Copa is right, they know what to say to keep us spinning-abracadabra. Desperate is a horrible place to be de·spair dəˈsper/ [I]noun[/I] [LIST=1] [*][B]1[/B]. the complete loss or absence of hope. "[B]driven to despair[/B], he throws himself under a train" synonyms: hopelessness, disheartenment, discouragement, desperation, distress, anguish, unhappiness; despondency, depression, disconsolateness, melancholy, misery, wretchedness; defeatism, pessimism [/LIST] The opposite of despair is hope. Hope for change, not only for our d c's, but for ourselves. Changing our outlook, our reaction and our response. It does not happen quickly, but if we try one step at a time we can do it. Each time our d cs show us where they are in their addiction, we can change our reaction. Chink in the armor. Toughen ourselves up. Work towards building our toolbox. Stop bargaining for measurable outcomes. This is too predictably unpredictable for that. We have no control over what our d c's do. We can however, have control over our reactions. We do not have to sink ever so low to allow our hearts and minds to be twisted alongside with them. It is not easy to do, but tantamount to our surviving this. LBL, I am sorry your son is engaging you in this manner. It is a horrid thing to go through. Each time you face this, remind yourself that you have value and worth and it is absurd that your son would disrespect you in such ways. Life is too short to be enshrouded in the misery of this. You sound strong in your post and determined to pull up and out. We are all here with you on the journey, understanding how difficult it is. That is completely understandable LBL. You have been through the wringer and then some. I hope that you are able to rest and find some peace of mind. Pasa, that’s just awful. I am so sorry. It really is flabbergasting that these d cs have absolutely no boundaries or empathy for the hell we go through. Drugs just seem to strip them of fellow feeling and natural affection. LBL, one day at a time. Be very kind and gentle with yourself. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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