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Substance Abuse
He is Ramping up Please give me Strenght.
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 722195" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>We try to defend ourselves and harden our hearts to this reality. And not only to our DCs but to our community supports that shame us from protecting ourselves from a never changing situation. Naranon has given me tremendous strength to pull myself out of dispare and be a victim no more. No More!</p><p></p><p>.</p><p></p><p>I am learning to forgive myself for small set backs and continue forward with strength and love. What I do I do with love, strength and compassion; with hope for change. This includes change for my AS. Nothing changes if nothing changes.</p><p></p><p>I feel like I have a special weapon and a new secret language from the support of this forums memebers and Naranon. When I am being thrown under the bus of FOG be it by AS or community supports intent on shaming me into not making my addict their problem; I tap my mental secret decoder ring. Instant access to knowledge, power and strength.</p><p></p><p>The kind of strength that can only come from knowing first had such dispare.</p><p></p><p>Locking away ourselves, our personal belongings, and our other children! Indeed Leafy it is a swirly Whirley ride of dispare.</p><p></p><p>And yes Leafy if we let it it will consume us whole. Nothing left standing but the addict with his hungry ghost with an uniffilabe hunger, looking to consume everything and anything.</p><p></p><p>We do not own this. We did not Cause this, we can not Cure this, and we can not Control this.</p><p></p><p>Hope and unity changes this, and we must hold strong together in our secrete little community.</p><p></p><p>I was truly wallowing in the lap of self pitty yesterday when I got news from a dear friend. I thought her life was so simple so perfect, she had married well was so “Lucky”. Her children where great! She called to inform me that she has a rare form of sinus cancer and the highly malignant kind. She will be losing over half of her facial structure on Thursday. The odds of one year of survival are less than 50/50 and the odds for 2 and 5 year decline from there and are listed as dismal at best.</p><p></p><p>What flooded back to me is the loss of her toddler to a freak drowning accident. The loss of her twin brother to a terrible lingering disease. So many challenges and trials in her life. She was not lucky, nor was her life perfect. She had the love power and strength to endure, survive and live life in the face of adversity. Live a life people envied so much they saw past her adversity and saw Joy. This is now my mission. My lesson and my hope! Her focus is to survive, as long as possible.</p><p></p><p> I chose not to tell her about my son and asked our common friends to do the same.</p><p></p><p>A dear amazing support began to FOG over her Difficult Child yesterday, funny thing was she pulled me right out of my darkness, I could not seem to rally for myself, but by helping someone else I pulled myself up too. Thank you for rescuing me MOF. We will be here to support and rescue each other as long as it takes.</p><p></p><p>And yes in the face of our dismal odds of seeing our AC get the help they need and stay clean and sober, we will survive. We will push on. We will endeavour to live in the face of our adversity, that other people no longer see this when they see us. They will see an enviable happy life.</p><p></p><p>The cost of this life of joy and self care, cost far less than being pulled into the Swurley Whurley of dispare.</p><p></p><p>I stayed up too late. I am tired but energized. I engaged and surrounded myself with people who could pull me through.</p><p></p><p>I chatted with my friend and I was glad I was on line late. Her husband was away and she was full of doubt and fear. We reminisced and chatted and talked about treatment options and realities. I found self worth in someone who needed me. I had strength to help, for the third time.</p><p></p><p>My AS turned up. He had missed the curfew at the Shelter. It was cold and raining. I told him he could sleep here. He could eat and go to his old room. He could sleep until we asked him to leave in the morning and NO shenanigans! And before I let him in I said give me back the 2 charging cables and cube you stole and lied about yesterday!</p><p></p><p> He produced them and said “OH these I took them last week.” I am sure his lie comforts him it doesn’t comfort me. I also asked him to drug test. That was for me. So I didn’t start to FOG over in his presence.</p><p></p><p>He is showering and will leave momentarily. Tough stuff but not impossible. Better than a month ago when it was tough and impossible. When letting him stick his nose in our tent would have had him in for keeps. I think this quote may have been from Piggless, or Teriobe...RN....Pasa...Copa...Sam...suz...KT...BBU...SWOT.....or one of so many many wise supports here. </p><p></p><p>You are ALL with me this morning as I will stand point and say I love you but you have to go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 722195, member: 21895"] We try to defend ourselves and harden our hearts to this reality. And not only to our DCs but to our community supports that shame us from protecting ourselves from a never changing situation. Naranon has given me tremendous strength to pull myself out of dispare and be a victim no more. No More! . I am learning to forgive myself for small set backs and continue forward with strength and love. What I do I do with love, strength and compassion; with hope for change. This includes change for my AS. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I feel like I have a special weapon and a new secret language from the support of this forums memebers and Naranon. When I am being thrown under the bus of FOG be it by AS or community supports intent on shaming me into not making my addict their problem; I tap my mental secret decoder ring. Instant access to knowledge, power and strength. The kind of strength that can only come from knowing first had such dispare. Locking away ourselves, our personal belongings, and our other children! Indeed Leafy it is a swirly Whirley ride of dispare. And yes Leafy if we let it it will consume us whole. Nothing left standing but the addict with his hungry ghost with an uniffilabe hunger, looking to consume everything and anything. We do not own this. We did not Cause this, we can not Cure this, and we can not Control this. Hope and unity changes this, and we must hold strong together in our secrete little community. I was truly wallowing in the lap of self pitty yesterday when I got news from a dear friend. I thought her life was so simple so perfect, she had married well was so “Lucky”. Her children where great! She called to inform me that she has a rare form of sinus cancer and the highly malignant kind. She will be losing over half of her facial structure on Thursday. The odds of one year of survival are less than 50/50 and the odds for 2 and 5 year decline from there and are listed as dismal at best. What flooded back to me is the loss of her toddler to a freak drowning accident. The loss of her twin brother to a terrible lingering disease. So many challenges and trials in her life. She was not lucky, nor was her life perfect. She had the love power and strength to endure, survive and live life in the face of adversity. Live a life people envied so much they saw past her adversity and saw Joy. This is now my mission. My lesson and my hope! Her focus is to survive, as long as possible. I chose not to tell her about my son and asked our common friends to do the same. A dear amazing support began to FOG over her Difficult Child yesterday, funny thing was she pulled me right out of my darkness, I could not seem to rally for myself, but by helping someone else I pulled myself up too. Thank you for rescuing me MOF. We will be here to support and rescue each other as long as it takes. And yes in the face of our dismal odds of seeing our AC get the help they need and stay clean and sober, we will survive. We will push on. We will endeavour to live in the face of our adversity, that other people no longer see this when they see us. They will see an enviable happy life. The cost of this life of joy and self care, cost far less than being pulled into the Swurley Whurley of dispare. I stayed up too late. I am tired but energized. I engaged and surrounded myself with people who could pull me through. I chatted with my friend and I was glad I was on line late. Her husband was away and she was full of doubt and fear. We reminisced and chatted and talked about treatment options and realities. I found self worth in someone who needed me. I had strength to help, for the third time. My AS turned up. He had missed the curfew at the Shelter. It was cold and raining. I told him he could sleep here. He could eat and go to his old room. He could sleep until we asked him to leave in the morning and NO shenanigans! And before I let him in I said give me back the 2 charging cables and cube you stole and lied about yesterday! He produced them and said “OH these I took them last week.” I am sure his lie comforts him it doesn’t comfort me. I also asked him to drug test. That was for me. So I didn’t start to FOG over in his presence. He is showering and will leave momentarily. Tough stuff but not impossible. Better than a month ago when it was tough and impossible. When letting him stick his nose in our tent would have had him in for keeps. I think this quote may have been from Piggless, or Teriobe...RN....Pasa...Copa...Sam...suz...KT...BBU...SWOT.....or one of so many many wise supports here. You are ALL with me this morning as I will stand point and say I love you but you have to go. [/QUOTE]
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