Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
He wants to try again...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 738740" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I think Trying may be out visiting her son hoping to help him. I hope she will be back and read our posts and find them helpful. I too did a lot to try and control my son... and I also think he may have learned some of his manipulation skills from me. He was always so difficult that I was always trying to keep him on track even before the drug use started. I think being controlling is somewhat natural for me and one of the things I really have learned from alanon is to let go of control. That has helped me in my other relationships as well. So although I sound clear now about not setting boundaries and limits to control or to try to change him..... I definitely did not start out that way. But after all these years I have finally gotten that I cannot control his drug use whatsoever. If he wants to use then nothing I do will make a difference..... and in fact I am not sure anything the legal system does makes a difference either. I think it is a deterent.... but if he really wants to use he will despite the potential consequences. So the motivation has to come from within at least to some extent.</p><p></p><p>And in the meantime all we can do is love them, either directly or from afar... whichever is better for us.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 738740, member: 15801"] I think Trying may be out visiting her son hoping to help him. I hope she will be back and read our posts and find them helpful. I too did a lot to try and control my son... and I also think he may have learned some of his manipulation skills from me. He was always so difficult that I was always trying to keep him on track even before the drug use started. I think being controlling is somewhat natural for me and one of the things I really have learned from alanon is to let go of control. That has helped me in my other relationships as well. So although I sound clear now about not setting boundaries and limits to control or to try to change him..... I definitely did not start out that way. But after all these years I have finally gotten that I cannot control his drug use whatsoever. If he wants to use then nothing I do will make a difference..... and in fact I am not sure anything the legal system does makes a difference either. I think it is a deterent.... but if he really wants to use he will despite the potential consequences. So the motivation has to come from within at least to some extent. And in the meantime all we can do is love them, either directly or from afar... whichever is better for us. TL [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
He wants to try again...
Top